Posted by Manazir al-Tabi'iyah (الْمَناظر الـطـبـيـعـيـة) ~ Natural Landscapes
Originally composed by Norgel Richardson
Before I press forward with my testimony, I introduce myself as Norgel Richardson. I want all readers to know that every member of my immediate family was involved with Jehovah's Witnesses to some extent, including my parents, grandparents, myself, and my siblings. My father and mother intermittently studied with Jehovah's Witnesses during the 1980's, but neither of them actually became baptized Jehovah's Witnesses. My mother and father were both raised in sixth generation Baptist families. My paternal grandparents, who I will mention throughout this testimony, studied with Jehovah's Witnesses briefly during the 1970's and 1980's, but they never became Jehovah's Witnesses. They remained loyal to their confession of conservative fundamentalist Christianity. All three of my siblings, including my older brother, older sister, and younger sister, studied Watchtower literature with Jehovah's Witnesses at various points of their lives, but none of them became baptized Jehovah's Witnesses. I am the only one of my immediate family to actually become a baptized Jehovah's Witness and I remained active in the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society for about three years. The total time span of my involvement with Jehovah's Witnesses was eleven years, from 1989 to 2000, the last three of those years I spent as a baptized Jehovah's Witness. Ever since my exodus from the Watchtower Society in 2000, I have been mostly silent about my past experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses, until now. Prior to completing this testimony in September 2014, I shared information about my Watchtower experiences only with my family and a few confidential friends, clergymen and psychotherapeutic LPCs. The latest LPC who counsels me for autism recently recommended that I open up more about my past experiences with the Watchtower Society and give my personal testimony as a therapeutic way of releasing more of my repressed memories. My opening up with a testimony would also help me to connect better with the society around me, and make a difference in the lives of current Jehovah's Witnesses, former Jehovah's Witnesses and the general public.
DISCLAIMER: Some of the information in my testimony may be unpalatable, upsetting or disheartening to some people. However, I want everyone to know that, personally, I do not hate Jehovah's Witnesses, instead, I love Jehovah's Witnesses. I see the average people among Jehovah's Witnesses as being generally good, kind, clean, decent and innocent people who honestly desire to serve God and Jesus Christ, and who desire to help others to receive the highest blessing from God. Its just that Jehovah's Witnesses have an unbiblical salvation doctrine, unhealthy mentality and distorted worldview that has been programmed into them through mind control techniques used by the leaders of their organization, the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. I have nothing against the average Jehovah's Witnesses that knock on doors in the neighborhood, so all of my criticisms are directed toward the Watchtower leaders that control the organization and not the average Jehovah's Witnesses that are victimized by those leaders. I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses, so I have both compassion and sympathy for the average Jehovah's Witnesses. True love does not remain silent nor does it sugarcoat, water down or distort the truth about things. Instead true love discloses the real truth as it warns people of what is wrong, problematic or dangerous while, at the same time, it encourages people to make corrections by seeking the right solution to the problem in order to gain benefit. The right solution is to get out of the Watchtower and turn to the real Jesus Christ of the Bible for genuine salvation. May God bless everyone who reads this testimony. Amen.
THE BEGINNING OF MY INTERACTIONS WITH JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
I first became interested in Jehovah's Witnesses in July 1989 after finding one of their brochures a stranger had dropped on the ground while walking in the streets. I picked up the brochure and attempted to give the brochure back to the guy who dropped it on the ground, but he told me that he was throwing it away and that I could keep it if I wanted to. The brochure was titled Enjoy Life on Earth Forever. It was a 32 page brochure that opened up talking about God's name being Jehovah, and that God created heaven and earth, as well as our first parents Adam and Eve. The brochure basically said that sin, suffering, and death entered the world as a result of Adam and Eve disobeying God in the Garden of Eden. Our first parents, Adam and Eve, forfeited the right to everlasting life on a paradise earth for themselves and all humanity. The brochure went on to say that God will use His anointed king Jesus Christ to destroy Satan and all wickedness, solve all of humanity's problems, and restore everlasting life to humanity and paradise conditions to earth. The brochure closed with the saying that no one could enter the future paradise earth and live forever unless they join God's visible organization, Jehovah's Witnesses, the only true religion on earth. I was fascinated with the idea that God had a name, Yahweh or Jehovah, and I wondered why so many other religious groups largely omitted God's name from their sermons and literature. I loved the beautiful, colorful photos and illustrations in the literature distributed by Jehovah's Witnesses. I also loved how simple and concise Jehovah's Witnesses were in presenting their explanations of the Bible, and that is what began to attract me to Jehovah's Witnesses. This was the beginning of my involvement with Jehovah's Witnesses, and I began studying the Bible with them within weeks of reading the brochure Enjoy Life on Earth Forever.
My family was in the process of moving to West Palm Beach, Florida around this time, and my first Bible study with Jehovah's Witnesses was with a Japanese lady named Setsuko Erickson while living in West Palm Beach, Florida. I told my mother that I was interested in studying the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses, and, by chance, Sister Setsuko and two other JWs came knocking on our door during their field service activity. I was so happy to meet them. A week later, I began studying the Bible and a Watchtower publication with Sis. Setsuko. My mother also began studying the Bible with Sis. Setsuko. In turn, Sis. Setsuko set up home Bible studies with my older sister and my younger sister. By the way, the book I began studying out of was titled You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth. My mother and older sister also studied this same book with Sis. Setsuko and the Jehovah's Witnesses, but my younger sister studied another book titled My Book of Bible Stories. The Bible studies were conducted once every week, and each Bible study lasted about an hour. The book You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth contained chapters full of numbered paragraphs corresponding to numbered questions found at the bottom of the pages. This same format was found in most of the other books, brochures and magazines published by the Watchtower Society. During the home Bible study, either myself or Sis. Setsuko would read one paragraph, then Sis. Setsuko would ask me the corresponding question for the paragraph that was read. Then I would give the answer exactly as stated in the corresponding paragraph. The study would proceed to the next paragraph and question in the same manner. My mother liked Sis. Setsuko very much because she was a very kind, good, and loving person. Based on my interactions with Sis. Setsuko alone, Jehovah's Witnesses appeared to be very good people. Sis. Setsuko gave a very good first impression of the Jehovah's Witness organization. Sis. Setsuko would carry me, my sisters, and sometimes my mother, to the Kingdom Hall every Sunday, then she would entertain us after the Kingdom Hall meetings by carrying us to a restaurant or shopping center to buy us something. Occasionally, Sis. Setsuko helped me, my mother and my sisters to meet doctor's appointments and other appointments whenever the family car was broken down. There came a day when one of my mother's china picture plates was broken as it fell off the shelf, and Sis. Setsuko went out of her way to order a replacement china picture plate for my mother. My whole family thought Sister Setsuko was one of the kindest people we had ever met.
I was 13 years old in 1989 when Sis. Setsuko carried me to a Kingdom Hall for the first time. I had visited a number of different churches of various denominations in the past, but my first time visiting a Kingdom Hall introduced me to something very peculiar. Jehovah's Witness brothers and sisters greeted me, shook hands with me and embraced me as I was entering the Kingdom Hall to be seated. The main room of the Kingdom Hall did not have any windows through which people could look; I thought that was unusual for a traditional place of worship. A banner was hanging on the front wall of the Kingdom Hall, and it had the 1989 Year Text of Revelation 14:7, which read “Fear God and give him glory.” Over the course of the meeting, three songs were sung out of a brown song book titled Sing Praises to Jehovah. Piano music was played along with the singing. Unlike other types of churches I visited, JWs did not engage in worship with shouting, praise, hand clapping, and the raising of hands. The meeting was mostly quiet and of low key, almost like a courtroom session or a school lecture room. A great many people would find a Kingdom Hall meeting a boring thing to attend. In fact, I noticed that most of the people in the Kingdom Hall had a serene look on their face, but some of the people looked very bored and depressed. Young children had a hard time sitting still during the long meeting. There were no collection plates passed around in the Kingdom Hall, instead, donations were placed in a designated contribution box. As the Sunday attendance opened up with a song, the first meeting was a Public Talk in which an elder or ministerial servant gave a 1-hour speech based on the Watchtower's interpretation of the Bible. After the Public Talk, another song was played, then everyone studied an article in an up-to-date Watchtower magazine for about 1-hour. This was called the Watchtower Study. During this study, a ministerial servant would read through one paragraph at a time, then the elder who officiated over the Watchtower Study would ask a question to the audience. The question asked by the elder was actually found at the bottom of the page of the Watchtower magazine, and they were numbered questions corresponding to a numbered paragraph in the article. For example, the answer for question number 17 was found in paragraph number 17. Someone in the audience would raise their hand, the elder would call on them, then that person would answer the question according to the information contained in the paragraph. This method of Watchtower indoctrination somewhat reminded me of the reading comprehension classes I was taking in school at the time. The Watchtower Study concluded with a song, then everyone was dismissed to go home. JW brothers and sisters greeted me, conversed with me, and wished me a safe trip home as I was leaving the Kingdom Hall at the end of the day's meeting. I saw ministerial servants distributing new Watchtower literature to the JWs, counting the monetary contributions and cleaning up the Kingdom Hall as everyone left the building. Eventually, Setsuko began inviting me to attend meetings with Jehovah's Witnesses during the week, not just on Sundays. I began studying with the Congregation Book Study and the Theocratic Ministry School and the Service Meeting. There were five weekly meetings and each of them were conducted in a specific pattern that I would observe for the next 11 years of my interactions with Jehovah's Witnesses.
Sister Setsuko became convinced that I was advancing very rapidly in my understanding of Watchtower doctrine, so at the beginning of 1990, Sis. Setsuko allowed another Jehovah's Witness, a prominent elder in her congregation by the surname of Hoagland, to replace her in my weekly Bible studies. Sis. Setsuko continued conducting Bible studies with my mother and my sisters, plus other JW sisters would help Setsuko in conducting the Bible studies with my mother and sisters. As for me, I loved how Jehovah's Witnesses presented scripture; I thought it was a wonderful thing that Christians minister by going from door to door to tell people about the Bible. I was attracted to Jehovah's Witnesses not only because of their doctrine, but also because of their methods of evangelizing. Most other groups professing Christianity did not minister from house to house very much, and I thought going from house to house was highly effective in spreading the Word of God. I enjoyed studying with Bro. Hoagland very much. He was an elderly white man who had been married to his wife for about 60 years. I was very glad to sit during the Bible study and listen to Bro. Hoagland and ask him questions about the Bible. Brother Hoagland even invited the circuit overseer to sit in on one of my weekly Bible studies. Also in early 1990, I joined the JWs in a group book study of a publication called Revelation: It's Grand Climax at Hand, which was released two years earlier in 1988. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society published this book in an attempt to explain the book of Revelation verse by verse. Bro. Hoagland was the conductor of the Revelation book study for my group.
MY GROWING INTEREST IN THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
The Bible studies my family had with Jehovah's Witnesses fizzled out later in 1990 when my family moved from southern Florida to Clayton County in the Atlanta Metro area. None of us studied with Jehovah's Witnesses again until the fall of 1992. My mother did not resume Bible studies with JWs after leaving Florida, but me and my younger sister did resume studying with JWs in 1992. I was in high school at the time, but I still managed to receive Bible studies from Bro. Yomi Ajayi, who was a young JW brother in his early twenties. My younger sister studied with a sister JW named Janette. Bro. Ajayi studied with me using You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth, picking up in exactly the same chapter where Sis. Setsuko and Bro. Hoagland left off. Though I didn't know his exact situation at the time, it appeared to me that Bro. Ajayi was very busy and was under a great deal of stress much of the time, and, as a result, we did not maintain a consistent, regular Bible study schedule. I would notice many more cases of burdened JWs under excessive stress as I continued associating with Jehovah's Witnesses. I also attended a Kingdom Hall in Rocky Mount, NC during my three months of summer vacation with an uncle in 1993, and many of the Witnesses in that particular congregation were very welcoming and friendly toward me, including a JW sister named Brenda Moody. My Bible studies with Bro. Ajayi began to wane in late 1993, and I assumed that it was because of Bro. Ajayi's busy schedule. My interest in the Watchtower Society was still growing at this time, and I was becoming more and more convinced that the Watchtower Society was God's organization. In order to continue my Bible studies, I contacted another congregation in the Clayton County area in late 1993. That congregation sent a middle-aged JW brother named Horace Bolton by my home to speak with me, and so Bro. Bolton replaced Bro. Ajayi as the conductor of my Bible study sessions. By this time, my younger sister had completely given up on her Bible studies with Jehovah's Witnesses, because she became convinced that the Jehovah's Witness religion did not fit into her personal favorites. However, my older sister began to resume her Bible studies with Jehovah's Witnesses, specifically with a JW sister named Gertha from 1993 up until 1999. My older sister joined me in studying with Bro. Bolton on at least two occasions in 1994. The more I interacted with Jehovah's Witnesses, the more I noticed how radically exclusive they were with their religion, as they taught they were the only true religion, specifically the only true Christians. They staunchly believed that all other organizations and churches that claim to be Christian are really of Satan the Devil and Babylon the Great (false religion). All other churches and organizations that claim to be Christian were called "Christendom" by Jehovah's Witnesses, and that word "Christendom" was perceived as one of the most negative words in the "pure language" of Jehovah's Witnesses. Even more extreme, a Jehovah's Witness could only be friends with other Jehovah's Witnesses, plus a Jehovah's Witness could never marry someone who is outside of the their religion; all outsiders were considered "bad association." One early example I saw of JW exclusivism was when I viewed a religious program on television called The World Tomorrow and read some issues of The Plain Truth magazine. Both of these were produced by the Worldwide Church of God which taught a few doctrines that were similar to those of Jehovah's Witnesses. However, when I told Bro. Horace Bolton about my looking into these things, he told me that, if I hoped to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I could not continue paying attention to religious programs or literature that was not published by the Watchtower Society. Bro. Bolton said such things should be avoided like poison. In addition, Bro. Bolton advised me against participating in the Air Force Junior ROTC at my high school, since such school programs were recognized as prerequisites to enlisting in military service.
I attended a Jehovah's Witness Memorial for the first time in April 1994. The Memorial, which celebrates the death of Jesus Christ, is similar to the Communion of bread and wine observed by the churches of Christendom. The Memorial is the only celebration of the year for Jehovah's Witnesses, since all other observances and holidays, including birthdays, Christmas, and Easter, were totally avoided as paganism. Jehovah's Witnesses frequently invite the public to attend their Memorial service, and Bro. Bolton invited me to the 1994 Memorial. When I was at the Memorial, I saw that no Jehovah's Witnesses partook of the bread and wine, and obviously the public was not allowed to partake. Bro. Bolton told me in advance that the only people who are eligible to partake of the bread and wine emblems are those 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses who are "anointed" and "born again" by the Holy Spirit. The Watchtower called this group of anointed ones the "Faithful and Discreet Slave Class," "Anointed Class," "The Little Flock," or "The Remnant." I was told by Bro. Bolton that only 1% of all Jehovah's Witnesses are part of this special class of anointed ones that are destined to rule as spirit beings in Heaven alongside Jesus Christ, while the other 99% of Jehovah's Witnesses, called "The Great Crowd" or "other sheep," are destined for eternal life on a restored paradise earth, but will NEVER enter Heaven. Bro. Hoagland told me about the two classes of Christians (according to Watchtower theology) a few years earlier, but Bro. Bolton further elaborated on the subject. After the Memorial service was over, I left the occasion pondering over many scriptures. Some of the scriptures I pondered over included quotes of Jesus himself saying "Do this in remembrance of Me" (Luke 22:19), and "unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, YOU HAVE NO LIFE IN YOU. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood HAS ETERNAL LIFE" (John 6:53, 54). I also thought of the scripture where Paul said "For as OFTEN as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes" (1 Corinthians 11:26). Paul said for as OFTEN, not just once a year. I began to see a much clearer picture of the Jehovah's Witness organization after that Memorial service, as to how different Jehovah's Witnesses were from mainstream Christianity. In the churches of mainstream Christianity, virtually all church members partake of Communion in honor of Jesus Christ and salvation, but Jehovah's Witnesses allow only a small percentage of their members to partake of Communion. Also, I asked Bro. Bolton about the Governing Body and the Faithful and Discreet Slave because I began to become curious after hearing Jehovah's Witnesses routinely mention these words in their conversations whenever I was in their presence. He said that the Governing Body was the small group of specially appointed men in Brooklyn, New York at a place called Bethel. He said that the Governing Body serves as God's channel of communication, providing God's "spiritual food" to all Jehovah's Witnesses around the world, plus the Governing Body determines all doctrines and practices of Jehovah's Witnesses. Whatever the Governing Body publishes in the Watchtower literature becomes official doctrine and practice for Jehovah's Witnesses. Bro. Bolton even quoted Matthew 24:45-47, along with verses from Acts 15, in an attempt to prove that the idea of a Governing Body is biblical. In addition, Bro. Bolton carried me to the Godly Fear District Convention during the August of 1994, and Governing Body member Ted Jaracz gave a symposium for the Sunday meeting of that convention. Furthermore, Bro. Bolton carried me to his home a few times, and I saw how marvelously neat and clean his home really was. He and his wife kept their house in good order. Most Jehovah's Witnesses are in the habit of keeping everything neat and clean, and Bro. Bolton and his wife were no exception. I heard that Bethel headquarters in Brooklyn was so clean that a person could literally eat off the floor and not get sick. Environmental, household and bodily cleanliness are cherished as a high moral standard among Jehovah's Witnesses, but another reason why JWs place a strong emphasis on cleanliness is because of their intense fear of demons. Since demons are "unclean spirits," JWs believe unclean or filthy conditions can attract demons, thus keeping everything clean helps to keep the demons away. Another point I want to bring out is that, as a teenager, I had an outright passion for reading encyclopedias, science books and other nonfiction books; I also enjoyed watching educational programs on PBS and The Discovery Channel and reading National Geographic magazines. Out of curiosity, I read through several different encyclopedias to find information about Jehovah's Witnesses. All of the encyclopedia articles talked about how Jehovah's Witnesses originated from the Millerites and Charles Taze Russell's Bible Students, as well as about Jehovah's Witnesses predicting the end of the world for 1914 and 1975. I asked Bro. Bolton whether or not Jehovah's Witnesses predicted the end of the world for 1975, and he denied that Jehovah's Witnesses had ever predicted the end of the world, despite the fact that he and his wife were active Jehovah's Witnesses as far back as 1971. Plus he told me to disregard what those encyclopedias and other "worldly" sources say about Jehovah's Witnesses because such sources originated with Satan the Devil who deceives people about Jehovah's Witnesses. He said that everything and anything about Jehovah's Witnesses that is not published by "God's Visible Organization," the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society, is potentially a lie by default. I trusted Bro. Bolton and listened to his advice, thus I disregarded those encyclopedia articles about JWs, though I would remember their information in later years. Also, I eventually let go of various types of religious literature and religious television programs that did not originate with the Watchtower Society.
My mother insisted on moving out of Clayton County, Georgia and we relocated to Columbus, Georgia in the fall of 1994. This was very hard on me because I was used to studying with Bro. Bolton. I resumed my Bible studies in Columbus, Georgia with a 26 year old JW brother by the surname of Harrell. At the beginning of 1995, the Watchtower Society phased out You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth and replaced it with a new study book titled Knowledge that Leads to Everlasting Life. This was the book Bro. Harrell used when studying with me. I had to start all over again with this new book, but I progressed through it quickly since I was already familiar with most of the Watchtower's doctrines. Bro. Harrell generously gave me three of his old suits to where to the Kingdom Hall, because my old suits had undergone a great deal of wear and tear. As for my pre-baptismal years of involvement with Jehovah's Witnesses, my favorite Watchtower publications to read were Questions Young People Ask, Revelation: Its Grand Climax at Hand, Reasoning From the Scriptures, Mankind's Search for God, Life—How Did It Get Here? By Evolution or by Creation?, and the two-volume set of Insight on the Scriptures. Yes, I would constantly read through the pages of these books while at home as a teenager. During my high school years, I would place these books inside my book bag, carry them to school with me, and read them during my homeroom sessions or while riding the school bus to and from school. My classmates took notice of this habit and some of them were convinced I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses, though I was only studying with Jehovah's Witnesses. Up until this time in 1994 and 1995, some of my fellow classmates and other people had been telling me that Jehovah's Witnesses are a "cult." I did not like the word "cult" because it sounded derogatory, and I disagreed with the idea that I was studying the Bible with a "cult." I even read an article that the Watchtower published in February 1994 in which the Watchtower denied the allegation that Jehovah's Witnesses are a "cult." I found the information in that article very convincing at the time, and it reinforced my confidence in the Watchtower and its doctrines and practices. I remember sharing that Watchtower article with some of my classmates at school, because I thought that the black male JW on the front cover of that particular issue of the Watchtower magazine bore a slight resemblance to the famous NBA Basketball player Dominique Wilkins. At the time of my graduating from high school in June 1995, my confidence in the Watchtower was at an all time peak. Midway through 1995, I really had no doubts whatsoever about Jehovah's Witnesses being the only true organization of God. I was in 100% agreement with the Watchtower's doctrines about 1914 marking the Time of the End and the Invisible Presence (Parousia) of Jesus Christ. I was comfortable with the Watchtower's idea that the Trinity was pagan and illogical, and that Jesus was simply God's specially created Son, Michael the Archangel. I thought this was an easy and highly simplistic way of viewing Almighty God Jehovah and His Son Jesus Christ, without the enormous complexity and confusion of the Trinity doctrine. The doctrine of soul sleep seemed to make perfect sense, and I thought God would be an outright tyrannical monster if He ever tortured someone for all eternity in a blazing fiery Hell just because they did bad things for a few years. It seemed natural to me that God would recreate the sinless perfection and paradise conditions that once existed in the Garden of Eden rather than turn His back on the planet Earth and destroy it forever. I also took a strong liking to Jehovah's Witnesses because of the love they seemed to show toward me and others who studied with them, plus there appeared to be strong bonds of love among the congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses at that time. The Watchtower literature frequently quoted John 13:34, 35 in an attempt to portray how loving Jehovah's Witnesses were among themselves. At the time, I was feeling so depressed because of past incidents of sexual abuse during childhood, and because of the stigma and ostracism incurred by my autism spectrum disorder. I became convinced that Jehovah's Witnesses would be a good source of company and comfort to me as an autistic person. Yes, I have struggled with autism ever since my days as a young toddler, in addition to recovering from the death of my father in 1985 and experiencing sexual abuse from one of my mother's old boyfriends in 1986. There is intense stigma in society around autism, mental illnesses, and mental retardation. There is more social stigma against autism than there is against Jehovah's Witnesses. I seriously thought Almighty God would help me greatly through Jehovah's Witnesses as far as autism was concerned, so I was attracted to the facade of "brotherly love" portrayed by the Watchtower Society. Throughout the decade of the 1990's, I worked hard to reap as much comfort and blessing from Jehovah's Witnesses as possible.
THE BEGINNING OF MY DOUBTS ABOUT THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
My confidence in the Watchtower went totally unscathed and totally unshakened until late 1995 and early 1996. This was when the Watchtower changed its doctrine about the 1914 generation. In the November 1, 1995 issue of the Watchtower magazine, the Governing Body changed its position and said that the word "generation" at Matthew 24:34 did not refer to a specific, literal generation of people (like the 1914 generation), but to the present wicked system of things that is destined to be destroyed at Armageddon. The Watchtower previously stated that the generation of people that was alive in 1914 would live to see Armageddon and survive into Christ's Millennial Reign on the paradise earth. Then the doctrine was suddenly changed to say that there is no absolute guarantee that the 1914 generation would see Armageddon and survive into the paradise earth, that such a scenario was only probable, not definite. This doctrinal change was accompanied by a change on the masthead of the Awake! magazine, which read in the October 22, 1995 issue "This magazine builds confidence in the Creator's promise of a peaceful and secure new world before the generation that saw the events of 1914 passes away." The very next Awake! issue was November 8, 1995, which read "This magazine builds confidence in the Creator's promise of a peaceful and secure new world that is about to replace the present wicked, lawless system of things." This doctrinal change provoked so many questions in my mind as to why the Watchtower's leadership, who claimed to be God's exclusive channel of communication, would change something they emphatically taught for many years as "the Creator's promise." With much enthusiasm, I was really looking forward to getting baptized into the organization just in time to experience the fulfillment of this prophecy and enjoy the blessings of the paradise earth, but the Watchtower's new interpretation of Matthew 24:34 shook me up. I asked Bro. Harrell about this matter, and I asked the elders of the Columbus congregation about it too. Bro. Harrell and the elders said that "the light had just gotten brighter" for the Jehovah's Witness organization regarding God's purpose for these last days. The elders also gave me some photocopies of past issues of the Watchtower magazine where the Governing Body admitted that the organization was not perfect, and that the Governing Body does make errors when interpreting God's spiritual light as they receive it from God. The magazine photocopies described the ever brightening light at Proverbs 4:18 as "progressive understanding of God's truth." I still had my doubts, despite the explanations of Bro. Harrell, the congregation elders, and the magazine itself. This doctrinal change was a major "red flag" popping up in my face. Bro. Harrell and other JWs began encouraging me to "wait on Jehovah" for clearer understanding and "brighter light," so I listened to the JWs and decided to "wait on Jehovah" despite my doubts. I still had lots of confidence in the Watchtower organization, and I continued my studies with Jehovah's Witnesses, but my confidence was somewhat weaker as I shelved these new doubts in the back of my mind. Prior to this doctrinal change in 1995, I never seriously questioned the congregation elders about Watchtower doctrines.
MY TIME AS AN UNBAPTIZED PUBLISHER
In April 1996, I moved away from Columbus to live in my native town with my paternal grandparents (my father's parents). My grandparents helped me to enroll in college to begin pursuing a bachelor's degree. I started out with a major in biology, but I later changed it to sociology. A few months after moving in with my grandparents, I found my way back to Jehovah's Witnesses and resumed my Bible studies, this time with a Jehovah's Witness brother by the surname Griffin. I finished the book Knowledge that Leads to Everlasting Life in October 1996 while studying with Bro. Griffin. After completing my Bible studies with Jehovah's Witnesses as a progressive Bible student, the elders of the congregation tested me by asking me a hundred questions pertaining to Watchtower doctrine. I gave the correct answers to virtually all of their questions, and because of that, the elders said I was ready to get baptized. I worked closely with Jehovah's Witnesses as an "unbaptized publisher" between the time I finished the Bible studies and the time of my baptism. My first day in field service as an unbaptized publisher was in November 1996. On my first day of field service, I went out in field service with Bro. Griffin and two JW sisters. On that first day, I was experiencing the same rejection that all JWs experience when going from door to door. People refused to answer their doors as Bro. Griffin and I knocked on their door, while some would open the door, say "I'm not interested" and then slam the door in my face. Of all the doors Bro. Griffin and I knocked on that particular day, only one household allowed me and Bro. Griffin into their home to talk with them. However they did not answer the door when we made a return visit a week later. I always had been curious as to what it was like to be a Jehovah's Witness going from door to door, and that first day in field service was a bittersweet experience. The experience was sweet because my curiosity was finally satisfied, but it was also bitter because of all the rejection I experience while going from door to door. That bitterness should have been enough to discourage me from going forward with baptism but it did not; instead, I held to my determination to move forward with the Watchtower Society.
ENCOUNTERING A GOOD CHRISTIAN FRIEND AND MY FIRST READING THROUGH THE BIBLE
During July of 1996, while I was still progressing to complete the Bible studies, I met a Christian named Quincy Smith at ASU Summer Orientation as I was beginning my freshman year in college, and we became friends. Quincy gave his life to Christ and became saved a year earlier in 1995. God would later use him as a major role player in my learning the truth about Jesus Christ, and getting closer to God. I was not officially a baptized Jehovah's Witness at the time, so I did not feel bound to all the strict rules of the Watchtower Society. Therefore, I continued associating with non-Witnesses and celebrating holidays with my family, at least until I was finally baptized. Like other people in my past, Quincy thought Jehovah's Witnesses were a "cult" but I ignored it and passed it by as nothing. This good friend of mine; i.e. Quincy, helped me to understand the importance of reading the Bible alone in search of spiritual truth instead of relying on the literature of a man-made organization. I shared a few Watchtower publications with Quincy, but he told me that he felt better reading just the Bible. He said that he had finished reading the entire Bible from cover to cover, verse by verse, from Genesis to Revelation, and that he thoroughly examined the scriptures for himself. I told him that I never read the Bible to that extent before. Quincy challenged me to read the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation. I decided to go ahead and take on that challenge. After all, I had always been very curious about the many passages of scripture I never read before, and I wanted to know about those parts of the Bible I never read. I began reading Genesis in August 1996, and I progressed through the Torah, the historical accounts of the Old Testament, the poetic books, the major prophets, the twelve minor prophets, the Gospels, the book of Acts, the Pauline epistles, the general epistles, and finally the prophecy of Revelation. I finished reading the entire Bible by the middle of February 1997. I used three translations of the Bible during my reading. Those three translations were the New International Version, the King James Version, and the New World Translation. I compared all three translations as I read through the entire Bible.
As I took on Quincy's challenge to read the entire Bible from cover to cover, I stumbled across numerous verses and passages that seemed to contradict the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses. For example, I saw numerous passages where God promised to never leave or forsake the nation of Israel and the Jews, but Jehovah's Witnesses taught that God turned His back on Israel and the Jews after they rejected Jesus, then God replaced Israel with modern Jehovah's Witnesses. Also, as I read through the Bible, I saw that everything that applied to Jehovah God Almighty in the Old Testament applied directly to Jesus Christ in the New Testament, thus exalting Jesus Christ to the identity of Jehovah God Almighty himself. I also stumbled across passages that revealed the personality of the Holy Spirit, the immortality of the human soul, the reality of eternal punishment in Hell, and salvation by grace alone through faith alone without meritorious works. All of these passages of scripture created a great deal of confusion in my mind, and the day of my baptism was a little over a month away. The first people I consulted for help were the congregation elders. Those men did manage to provide answers to some of my questions, and I thought the answers seemed reasonable at the time. As for the remaining questions that the elders failed to answer, I mailed a letter to Brooklyn Bethel in New York and they answered more of the questions, but not all of them. Brooklyn Bethel provided many answers in their response letter. Among the answers was that Brooklyn Bethel compared the Watchtower Society to the nation of ancient Israel (ancient Jews or Hebrews), which sinned against Jehovah numerous times from the days of Abraham to the New Testament Era, yet Jehovah never forsook His chosen people despite their persistent sinfulness, even as He repeatedly disciplined or corrected His chosen people out of love for them. They said that Jehovah will be the same way toward the Watchtower Society in this modern era despite the Watchtower Society's imperfections. Brooklyn Bethel told me to keep up with updates in the published literature and "wait on Jehovah" to eventually reveal more answers to me through His organization. I had already developed that "wait on Jehovah" mentality about a year earlier, and the organization had already admitted that it was not perfect, so I decided to press forward with getting baptized despite the accumulating doubts that I kept shelving and repressing. I was beginning to experience something that psychologists call "cognitive dissonance" although I did not know about this word at the time. I remained loyal to Jehovah's Witnesses because, in my mind, I desperately wanted to believe Jehovah's Witnesses were God's earthly organization, the only true religion on earth. Whether Jesus Christ was Almighty God or not, a huge part of me felt comfortable with the idea of God interacting with the world through some kind of theocratic organization, as He did through the ancient nation of Israel. I hated how Christendom seemed to be so divided into hundreds of denominations that disagreed with each other on so many things. I thought God's true people would be, and should be, solidly united together in love (John 13:34, 35) and uniformly agree on every point of doctrine and practice (1 Corinthians 1:10). The Watchtower indoctrinated me so thoroughly on the concept of "God's organization" that I did not feel comfortable with the idea of God communicating with the world without some kind of organization. For this reason, I continued to cling tenaciously to the concept of "God's organization," and I literally wanted to believe Jehovah's Witnesses were God's organization despite the many imperfections of the organization.
MY BAPTISM INTO THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
Finally, I was baptized after studying Watchtower publications off-and-on for eight years with Jehovah's Witnesses. The reason why it took me roughly eight years to finally get baptized is because my mother kept relocating the family from one home to another; sometimes relocating from one city to another. She acted as if she was not complacent with staying in one place for more than a year. Because of this, I was forced to study with new Jehovah's Witnesses from another Kingdom Hall, often starting all over again from the beginning in the book I was studying, but Bro. Griffin made matters easier by helping me to pick up where my previous studies left off. The long wait was also because my home Bible studies were not always conducted on a weekly basis as they should have been. Sometimes the Bible studies were postponed for as long as four consecutive weeks because of the Bible study conductor being burdened with family issues, job issues or unexpected emergencies. Sometimes me and my family had our own crises that postponed the Bible studies. According to the Watchtower's ideal recruitment standard, it should take anywhere from six months to one year for a Bible student to finish studying the Watchtower publication and become eligible for baptism, but that works only if there are no interruptions, postponements, breaks or cancellations in the study sessions. Well, after the long wait, the day of my baptism finally arrived. I was baptized into the Watchtower organization on March 22, 1997 at a circuit assembly titled Experience the Greater Happiness in Giving. This was the first time I was ever immersed in water for baptism in my life. I was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and God's Spirit-directed Organization. When I asked about the phrase "Spirit-directed Organization," I was told it means that God used the Holy Spirit, His "active force," to direct all the activities of the Watchtower organization. I was living with my grandparents at the time, and my grandparents were glad to hear about the baptism, but they thought I should have chosen another "Church" besides Jehovah's Witnesses. My grandparents took a few Bible studies from Jehovah's Witnesses in the past, but they began to stop accepting counsel from Jehovah's Witnesses after becoming offended by their claiming to be the only true people of God and declaring that everyone else is of the Devil. Although my grandparents had great respect for Jehovah's Witnesses and were always friendly and courteous toward them, they saw Jehovah's Witnesses as hypocritical, prideful, exclusivistic, and never devoted to unconditional hospitality and compassion toward people of society in general. My grandparents asked me why would the JWs name one of their circuit assemblies Experience the Greater Happiness in Giving when they don't seem to be devoted to charities, humanitarian work, and outreach missions for unfortunate people in society. My grandparents disagreed with Jehovah's Witnesses' refusal to provide the same services as the Salvation Army, American Red Cross, Habitat for Humanity, faith-based financial assistance programs and faith-based food banks, soup kitchens and thrift stores. Jehovah's Witnesses always professed to follow Jesus' righteous example, but my grandparents and other people claimed to have generally seen the opposite. The Bible portrayed Jesus as intensely devoted to giving and sharing with people and helping the afflicted, both believers and unbelievers alike. Jehovah's Witnesses seemed to help only other Jehovah's Witnesses during times of war and natural disaster, never outsiders. Sis. Setsuko gave me a very good first impression of Jehovah's Witnesses in 1989 and, from that time onward, I continued to see JWs as generally nice people. However, I asked them why their greatest acts of compassion and hospitality were limited only to other Jehovah's Witnesses, and most of them told me that the practice was just another way of keeping separate from unbelievers and Satan's wicked system of things, plus they quoted Galatians 6:10. I told this to my grandparents, but my grandparents told me that Jehovah's Witnesses had already given them that same explanation many years earlier.
On the day of my baptism, most of the brothers and sisters in my congregation applauded me, hugged me and shook hands with me as a welcome to the congregation and as a gesture of congratulations. Later that day, some of the brothers and sisters celebrated the baptism with me and others who were newly baptized into the organization. We also went out to eat at Applebees and went skating at Stardust Skate Center. That was a very fun day for me and others who were newly baptized into the organization; we were entertained very well by the JW brothers and sisters. However, everything changed after I officially became a baptized brother. I was now bound to all the strict rules and policies of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Soon after I was baptized, the elders gave me an olive green book titled Organized to Accomplish Our Ministry, which contained detailed information about the organization's hierarchical structure, its methods of ministry, and many of its strict rules that were never disclosed to me prior to baptism. In addition, I was given a "NO BLOOD" document, signed by myself and two other JW brothers, to keep in my wallet in case of a medical situation involving blood and blood transfusions. There was enormous pressure on me to sacrifice so many things that were dear to me so that I can actively participate in field service at least ten hours every month. I was required to give up celebrating holidays and birthdays with my family, separate myself from all friends that were not Jehovah's Witnesses, associate only with other Jehovah's Witnesses, and be 100% conformed to everything the Watchtower said was right and true. This was extremely difficult because there were virtually no JWs in my congregation that were of my own age group. Some brothers and sisters were middle-aged and elderly much older than me, while others were children and teens much younger than me. On the other hand, there were plenty of fellow students on my college campus that were of my own age group. Only few of my college classmates knew that I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and Quincy was one of those few who knew. I was more boastful about my associations with Jehovah's Witnesses during my high school years, and some of the high school students ridiculed me for that, despite my not being an actual Jehovah's Witness at the time. Society had, and still does have, a nasty stigma against Jehovah's Witnesses and people who associated with them. Some of my college classmates found out that I was a Jehovah's Witness when they saw me going from door to door in field service, or when they saw me around the local Civic Center during Jehovah's Witness circuit assemblies and district conventions.
THE FIRST CHALLENGES I FACED AS ONE OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
I started out doing ten hours of field service each month, but the elders thought I should do more, so I increased my monthly field service time from ten hours to forty hours, despite the enormous strain it put on my college studies. Sometimes I would go in field service alone, while at other times I would join Bro. Griffin and other JW brothers and sisters in field service. Some of my fellow JWs tried to talk me into letting go of college to spend more time in the field service ministry. They thought that a young adult brother like me, so advanced in understanding Watchtower doctrine, would be a valuable asset to the congregation and Jehovah's organization as a whole. I refused to stop attending college, because I really wanted to earn a degree, and because I did not want to disappoint my grandparents who contributed so much to my educational pursuits. My extra time in field service, going from door to door, subtracted chunks of time away from my college studies and my cumulative GPA began to drop. On more than one occasion, ASU suspended me for poor academic progress, but I successfully appealed the suspensions. The Watchtower magazine articles, and the counsel from the congregation elders, placed a great deal of emphasis on striving to be as good as I could possibly be in order to obtain Jehovah's favor, including the expending of all energy into living a righteous life and performing various tasks for the organization. Over time I began to become exhausted and I also began to feel as if I could never do enough to please God and survive the imminent Armageddon. Of course my looking at so many terrifying pictures of Armageddon in Watchtower literature over the years resulted in those pictures flashing in the memory of my mind every day. The salvation doctrine of the Watchtower presented no assurance of salvation whatsoever, nor was an absolute guarantee of salvation presented. The only thing I was thinking in my mind was "I'll do the best I can, and hopefully Jehovah will carry me the rest of the way." I talked to my fellow JWs about this and they also thought this was the right attitude to have. However, the question remained "How do I know for sure that I am doing my very best?" Because the Watchtower failed to present Bible-based clarity and certainty over matters pertaining to salvation, I gradually began to feel a sense of confusion, anxiety, depression, and hopelessness regarding my salvation.
I thought life as one of Jehovah's Witnesses would grow happier and happier as time passed, but it did not. Instead, I began to have a stronger sense of fear and depression. Plus, I was often stressed out because of my obligation to go out in field service and attend five meetings each week. I was under great pressure to thoroughly read and study a great deal more of the Watchtower's literature in order to prepare for weekly Watchtower studies, weekly book studies, the Theocratic Ministry School, and up-to-date changes (new light) in Watchtower doctrine. Each week I thoroughly read the newest Watchtower articles and made sure to underline or highlight the answers in each paragraph in preparation for the Sunday study. Most of the Watchtower's literature placed a great deal of emphasis on Satan the Devil being the "god of this world" (2 Corinthians 4:4), and how evil and corrupt the world is because of its being controlled by the Devil. The Watchtower literature taught that demons were everywhere and that all human beings who are not Jehovah's Witnesses are in league with the Devil. All agencies, religious organizations, governments, and societal functions outside of Jehovah's Organization belonged to the Devil and were to be regarded as enemies of Jehovah's Witnesses. The elders and ministerial servants gave public talks warning JWs that the Devil and his demons were determined to distract us from God and get us disfellowshipped from the congregation, so that we would die in Armageddon. They taught that the only way to stay safe from the Devil and demons was to remain loyal to Jehovah's Organization. All of this created a very strong fear of the Devil and demons in my mind, and in the minds of most other Jehovah's Witnesses. I would hear about demons in many of the conversations Jehovah's Witnesses had among each other. They talked about doing everything in their power to avoid things that were considered sinful by Jehovah and His organization, out of fear that demons would take control over them if they failed to remain obedient. For example, some of us thought that possessing a cross, pornography, horoscopes, or comics with cartoon characters would attract demons. I also saw many of my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses refusing to own a television, a radio or an Internet computer, plus many of them were reluctant to buy items from yard sales, flea markets and thrift stores because of fearing demonic phenomena. Smoking cigarettes was regarded as a form of spiritism or demonism. Christendom's churches were thought to be inhabited by demons, and the prayers of Christendom's followers were thought to attract demons. The more preoccupied I became with Watchtower doctrine, I developed a more black and white mentality. Everything was seen as either good or evil, of God or of Satan, either for Jehovah's Witnesses or against Jehovah's Witnesses. We were absolutely forbidden to interact with apostates (former Jehovah's Witnesses) or to read apostate literature. The Watchtower said Satan would use apostates and their literature to pull us out of the safety of the Ark of God's organization. Any literature or media programs that criticized the organization was to be seen as poison that could poison the mind with evil thoughts about Jehovah. We were told that Jehovah would punish us if we ever interacted with apostates or read apostate literature, plus we would be disfellowshipped. The only religious books I was freely permitted to read were those published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. There were so many rules to obey, and I was under great pressure to be 100% conformed to all Watchtower doctrines and practices, or else I would either be judicially reproved or disfellowshipped. I thought I would lose everything if I were ever disfellowshipped; I thought I would die if Armageddon suddenly happened while I were disfellowshipped, so I tried to avoid being disfellowshipped. As I participated in the Watchtower Study and other meetings each week, I saw that absolutely no one in the Kingdom Hall openly and skeptically asked questions that debated the doctrines taught in the literature. Everyone in the Kingdom Hall seemed to automatically accept whatever the literature taught, probably because they equated the Watchtower's words with God's words, and God should never be questioned. I reached a point where I was believing certain things taught by the Watchtower but did not know exactly why I believed those things. All I knew was that the very organization that claimed to be God's channel of communication told me this thing and that thing was true, and I was not freely permitted to question what I was taught by the organization.
I talked to my grandparents about all the fears that were developing in my mind, along with the Watchtower's strict rules My grandparents told me they thought the Watchtower, with all its strict rules, was far stricter than the Bible itself. Both my grandfather and grandmother said God is a liberator, not an oppressor. They said Jesus Christ works to set people free, not to hold people in bondage and keep them fearful all the time. The Bible taught people to fear no one except God alone, to take refuge in the Lord, and to walk with a spirit of peace and love. I also told my Christian friend Quincy about all of these things and he said that Jehovah's Witnesses seemed to be driven more by fear than by genuine love for God and fellow man. Quincy told me that if JWs were truly the people of God, there would not be so much fear among them. He even quoted 2 Timothy 1:7, which says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Quincy said that there is no need for God's people to be afraid of the Devil, demons, sinners, or critical literature, because Christ indwells God's people and gives them great power to overcome Satan, demons, and the desires of the flesh. He also quoted 1 John 4:4 which says "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world." Quincy invited me to join him in attending meetings at the Baptist Student Union (BSU) that met on ASU campus every Monday afternoon for about one hour. The Baptist Student Union was directed by an ASU professor and baptist pastor named Dr. E.G. Sherman. The Baptist Student Union was a nonproselyting group in which various religious views were shared among college students, and any ASU college student was free to attend the meetings. During the latter part of 1997, I decided to join the BSU and attend the BSU meetings, despite the enormous risk of being disfellowshipped if the JW elders found out about it. I was somewhat fearful because a number of fellow JWs from my congregation were also ASU students, most of them were much older than myself. I had lots of peers of my own age group among the ASU student body and the Baptist Student Union. This was not the case in my JW congregation, where almost everyone was either much older than me or much younger than me. Plus there was a well established spying system among Jehovah's Witnesses. Each of us JWs was obligated to report to the congregation elders anyone who was committing a sin or violating an organizational policy. Because of this, I felt more comfortable confiding in my grandparents and non-JWs than in fellow Jehovah's Witnesses, out of fear of being reported to the elders for something that I probably didn't know was a violation of policy. There was a great deal of gossip among Jehovah's Witnesses, both men and women, despite the fact that gossip was considered sinful by the organization. I heard so much nasty gossip while I was going out in field service with Jehovah's Witnesses. They gossiped about some of everything, including what clothes people were wearing, the accent of someone's voice, the type of car someone owned, the many instances of sexual immorality among members of the congregation, and the unfair and corrupt business practices done by some of the congregation elders. I was so traumatized by that intense gossip among Jehovah's Witnesses that I have developed a total hatred for gossip to this very day, as I discourage gossiping and encourage love, respect and spreading the Gospel instead.
One moment I remember very well at the Baptist Student Union (BSU) during the Fall Semester of 1999 was a debate I participated in regarding Christian Rap Music in the Church. The question was: Should Christian Rap music be an acceptable form of music in the Church, or should the Church outright reject Christian Rap as "worldly" and "satanic"? At that particular time, Me, Quincy and two other students thought rap music was much too "worldly" to be used in the Church even if Christian songs were attached to it. On the other side of the debate, four female students, including Kimberly Roan, insisted that Christian Rap should be accepted in the Church, and they mentioned Kirk Franklin and his Gospel Rap songs. This dialogue continued for about one hour until the BSU's chief adviser Dr. Eugene Sherman entered the debate and said that every generation in history uses its own type of music to worship and praise God, and that God can be glorified through any kind of music for as long as the lyrics of the song attached to the music are based strictly on the biblical Gospel of Jesus Christ. Dr. Sherman described how jazz music was used in some black churches in the Deep South during the 1930's, 40's and 50's. He also made it clear that Christians can be culturally relevant to a certain extent, since Christians were called to be "unspotted from the world" but not "shut out of the world" while preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ to lead lost souls to the Lord. That debate about Christian Rap at the BSU was a quintessential moment for me, because I realized that I had the freedom to express my personal opinion at the BSU even if I disagreed with certain points; however, I was strictly forbidden to express a dissenting opinion among Jehovah's Witnesses. The Watchtower was strongly opposed to the many types of "worldly" music, and no JW was allowed to openly disagree with the Watchtower's stance on this and other issues. The Watchtower did not permit me and other Jehovah's Witnesses to question its doctrines, nor to engage in personal Bible study with independent thinking. The Governing Body of the Watchtower demanded "unity at all costs" among Jehovah's Witnesses. Even, if the Watchtower was wrong and the Bible was right, we were compelled to endorse the Watchtower's doctrines over the Bible's message and "wait on Jehovah" for new light. Reprisal from the organization's leaders would result if we ever disagreed openly. That debate about Christian Rap at the BSU meeting created more doubts in my mind about the Watchtower and Jehovah's Witnesses. More red flags began to pop up.
MEMORABLE EXPERIENCES IN THE FIELD SERVICE MINISTRY
Although I was struggling academically in college as one of Jehovah's Witnesses in order to maintain good field service hours, I did manage to get two Bible studies after buying a car in 1998, a light blue 1986 Ford Taurus. I finally started my first Bible study with someone after well over a year in the door to door ministry. The first Bible study was in late 1998, and the other was in 1999. I studied with each of those two people for one hour using the book Knowledge that Leads to Everlasting Life. However, each of those two Bible studies lasted only for a short time, because the home students were not responsible enough in keeping a good schedule for the Bible studies. I did not do very much "informal witnessing" but, whenever I did so, I usually did it whenever anyone conversed with me about biblical matters during my leisure time. Some people I met in the door to door ministry called me and other JWs "Watchtowerites." Me and my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses did not like being called "Watchtowerites." We felt offended by that name because it seemed to describe us as idolizing and worshiping the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society instead of worshiping Jehovah God Almighty. I encountered all kinds of people while going out in the door to door ministry. Some of them were atheists or agnostics, some were Muslims, some were Black Hebrew Israelites, while others were affiliated with a Christian denomination such as Baptists, Methodists, Pentacostals, Catholics, and so on. Most of these people were not very knowledgeable of the scriptures. Most of them were completely ignorant of the most important scriptures in the Bible. This ignorance gave me and other JWs a huge advantage over these people who professed to be so religious, and it made me feel as if I really had the TRUTH as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. However, there came a time when I encountered an elderly white man who was a former priest of the Southern Baptists, and he literally blew me away with his understanding of the Bible. One day, I happened to randomly knock on his door while out in field service. He answered the door, then I greeted him and offered him some Watchtower and Awake! magazines. He said "I am not interested in the magazines and tracts, but I would love to share some scriptures with you, if you don't mind." The first two scriptures he presented to me were Psalm 102:25-27 and Hebrews 1:10-12. He said these two verses, when compared, prove that Jesus and Jehovah are the same. Another two scriptures the former pastor presented to me were Luke 24:39, John 2:19-21 and Colossians 2:9 in an effort to prove the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. He showed me Hebrews 1:2 as proof that the Last Days began 2,000 years ago when Jesus began preaching, not in the year 1914 as Jehovah's Witnesses teach. Ephesians 2:8, 9 and Titus 3:4-7 were given to me as texts for salvation by grace through faith, instead of one's own works. Within a span of thirty minutes, this former pastor and his wife introduced scriptures to me that the Watchtower never presented to me before, and the Watchtower certainly never explained these scriptures in their literature. Of course I did read them while I read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation just prior to my baptism, but I did not pay very close attention to them. This former pastor also suggested that I do some research and carefully examine the history of Jehovah's Witnesses, including how the New World Translation was made, the many false prophecies of the past 100 years, and the origin of the 1914 doctrine. When I returned home, I pondered over these scriptures and spent all night studying them through my Bible's cross references. I discovered that the former pastor was correct in his interpretations. From the beginning, I was very reluctant to research the history of Jehovah's Witnesses, primarily because I was thoroughly convinced they were truly God's earthly organization, just as other Jehovah's Witnesses were convinced of the same thing. I was conditioned in my mind by the Watchtower to be totally disgusted with so called "apostate literature" and to be afraid of whatever "spiritual poison" such literature would put into my mind. Quincy told me that God does not need a church, organization or charismatic human leader to interpret the Bible for His Christian believers, that God uses the Holy Spirit to teach each and every Christian believer His truths contained in the Bible. Quincy even quoted John 14:26, John 16:13, and also 1 John 2:27 which says Christians do not need a mere man to teach them about God's truth, because the Holy Spirit who anointed Christians teaches them everything they must know. Eventually, I prayed to God to give me the strength and courage to test Watchtower doctrines and history, so as to confirm whether or not Jehovah's Witnesses are the only true Christians. God answered my prayers. I decided to go ahead and do the research after about a week of contemplating over the matter. After all, several members of the Baptist Student Union on my college campus said "obvious truth always stands up to scrutiny, and can refute any lie whatsoever." I reasoned that, if Jehovah's Witnesses really have the obvious absolute truth of God, then their doctrines would withstand all doctrines taught by all other religions, dismissing such doctrines as utter nonsense. Satan cannot take someone away from the true God unless that person foolishly chooses to believe an obvious lie over the obvious truth, even after the truth withstands testing.
THE BEGINNING OF MY RESEARCHING AND TESTING THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
There were plenty of Internet computers on my college campus, and the World Wide Web was easily accessible to all college students. The Internet was still in its infancy during the decade of the 1990's, and during those days, popular websites we see today such as Facebook, Twitter, Wikipedia, Blog Talk Radio and YouTube did not exist. Yet there were plenty of other websites that presented information about Jehovah's Witnesses. In this testimony, I am doing my best to recall as much as I can from the memory of my personal experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses and the research I did at the time of my experiences. Even during the 1990's, Jehovah's Witnesses demonized the Internet; they were always talking about all the so called "apostate information" that was everywhere on the Internet. The Watchtower leadership worked hard to discourage JWs from surfing the Internet, except to go to Watchtower.org (the official web site of Jehovah's Witnesses at that time). I already owned a copy of the green book Jehovah's Witnesses: Proclaimers of God's Kingdom, which presented a history of the Watchtower Society. However, that book seemed to be so glossed over and biased in favor of the Watchtower Society; therefore, its information was not satisfying to me after I read through it. I asked the congregation elders for permission to research books in the Kingdom Hall Library. The elders gave me permission. I researched all the books in the Kingdom Hall Library but I could find nothing dating back to Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Rutherford. The oldest books in the Kingdom Hall Library dated as only as far back as 1945, plus there was a time gap between 1968 and 1975 in which there seemed to be missing books. I did find a little bit of helpful information but it was not what I was especially looking for. I asked myself "What do these apostates have to say about Jehovah's Witnesses? Why does the Watchtower not want me and other JWs to talk to apostates or look on the Internet? If the Watchtower Society's first publications date as far back as the 1870's, then why did the Watchtower Society not allow their earliest publications to be freely accessible to JWs in the local Kingdom Halls? Why the gap in publications between 1968 and 1975 in the Kingdom Hall library?" -----[Before I move forward, I want to say that I asked many Jehovah's Witnesses in my home town about their collections of past Watchtower literature. Most of the brothers and sisters had very little. Finally, I encountered a fifth generation Jehovah's Witness family of white people that attended one of the Kingdom Halls in my home town had a large collection of Watchtower literature dating as far back as Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Rutherford. They were the Stevenson family, and they had so many of the Watchtower publications that the Kingdom Hall libraries lacked. I was very polite toward them. I asked them could I visit their home to read some of the Watchtower literature they collected over the generations, and they gave me consent. I visited their home four times to do research.]----- I decided to go ahead and surf the Internet to find the answers I was looking for. The first word I typed into the Yahoo search engine was "Faithful and Discreet Slave." I typed in "Jehovah's Witnesses" some time later, but I first decided to check out some of the vocabulary words used by the Watchtower Society, including "Faithful and Discreet Slave." The first websites that popped up included the Watchtower Observer owned by Kent Steinhaug, the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry owned by Matt Slick, and a website that dished out information from Free Minds Inc. founded by former Bethelite Randall Watters in 1992. All three of these websites provided a great deal of information about the Faithful and Discreet Slave, including many facts that the Watchtower never disclosed to me and other Jehovah's Witnesses. Through these websites, I learned that the Watchtower flip-flopped repeatedly on its interpretation of Matthew 24:45-47 over the course of its history. First, all Christian believers were seen as the Faithful and Discreet Slave, then Charles Taze Russell alone was seen as the Faithful and Discreet Slave, then the Faithful and Discreet Slave was seen as an elite class of specially anointed Jehovah's Witnesses with all other Jehovah's Witnesses constituting a "Great Crowd" (Jonadabs). The two class system dividing between the Heavenly Hope and the Paradise Earth was developed in 1935. On that same day I also learned that, up until 1929, the Watchtower Society taught that the Last Days began in 1799 and that Jesus Christ returned invisibly in 1874. As a part of this chronology, the year 1914 was originally predicted to be the end of the world; that is, the complete end of both Christendom and Satan's system of things as we know it. The Watchtower Society remained mostly silent about Christ's presence between 1929 and 1943, when the year 1914 was officially adopted as the new date for the beginning of the Last Days and Christ's invisible presence, and that doctrine has remained almost unchanged ever since 1943. I actually saw evidence of this when I visited the Stevensons to look into their collection of old Watchtower literature. The Watchtower teaches that Jerusalem was conquered by Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon in the year 607 BCE. The Watchtower eisegetically uses the prophetic pattern of the "seven times" in Daniel chapter 4 to come up with a time span of 2,520 years from 607 BCE to 1914 CE. Contrary to what the Watchtower teaches, not a single encyclopedia, history book, or accredited historian teaches that Jerusalem fell to the Babylonians in 607 BCE; instead, all of them teach that 586-587 BCE was the correct year. Why didn't the Watchtower teach 1934 or 1935 as the beginning of Christ's presence instead of 1914? Probably because they insisted on retaining some of Russell's pyramidology calculations that initially added 1914 to Watchtower doctrine. During my many months of thorough research on the Internet, I stumbled across so many websites with articles featuring quotes from books and testimonies written by various former Jehovah's Witnesses, including quotes from Edward Dunlap, Daniel L. Hall, Duane Magnani, David A. Reed, Cris and Norma Sanchez, Darek Barefoot, Peter Gregerson, James Penton, Ronald E. Frye, Jerry Bergman, Leonard Chretien, Lorri MacGregor, Carl Olof Jonsson and others.
I learned that Charles Taze Russell originally founded the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society as a publishing company, a corporation for the publishing and distribution of Bibles, Bible tracts, and books that served as Bible study aids. This was no surprise to me, because a few months before I actually began my research on the Watchtower Society, I told a fellow ASU student named Terry Echols, who studied in the Business Department, about the door to door ministry of Jehovah's Witnesses and how it was used to distribute literature and collect monetary contributions. I even told him that individual Jehovah's Witnesses are also called "publishers." After I told him these things, he said his opinion was that the Watchtower Society is actually a publishing company, a corporate business using religion as a means to make a profit. He thought that individual Jehovah's Witnesses were like sales representatives for the corporate business that controlled their religion. Converting more people to the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses would ultimately bring in more monetary profits for the publishing business as those newly converted JWs begin working as sales representatives through the door to door ministry. There are so many things I learned about Charles Taze Russell, including his racism, his sale of so called "miracle wheat," the troubles in his marriage, his flawed teachings on anatomy and medicine, and his syncretism; however, I will elaborate only on things I discovered about Russell's theology and occult practices and how they shaped the Watchtower Society. I also learned that some form of "creature worship" was given to Charles Taze Russell during the last years of his life through the People's Pulpit Association, an alternate name for the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. The first president of the Watchtower Society was not really Charles Taze Russell but William Henry Conley, who was a Trinitarian. The Watchtower never told this to modern JWs. Joseph F. Rutherford assumed the office of president after Russell's death on October 31, 1916 (Halloween). The religion now known as Jehovah's Witnesses enacted most of its current policies and practices under Rutherford's administration, when the Watchtower Society's authority was centralized and many cultic characteristics began to develop. Charles T. Russell originally did not think of God as working through an organization. That idea took hold during Rutherford's time, and beyond. It was believed that Jesus Christ personally read information the Watch Tower Society published in a prophetic book called The Finished Mystery, published in 1917. I was always taught that, after Jesus read The Finished Mystery in the year 1919, Jesus personally appointed the Watch Tower Society as His exclusive earthly organization for evangelizing the world and for distributing spiritual food to all Christians. The Watchtower Society said it was Jesus' strong approval of The Finished Mystery in 1919 that moved Him to select the Watchtower Society as the only true religion on earth. The Watchtower Society boasted about The Finished Mystery so much, especially in Revelation: It's Grand Climax at Hand, which was one of my favorite Watchtower publications to read. Yet I did not find The Finished Mystery in the Kingdom Hall libraries of none of the Kingdom Halls in my home town, nor in Kingdom Halls in Columbus, Georgia nor Tallahassee, Florida. It appears as though the organization was trying to hide this book from everyone. Anyway, the website that distributed information from Randall Watters' Free Minds Inc had a link to another website with scanned photocopies of the Watchtower's past publications, including The Finished Mystery. Plus the Stevenson family had the actual book in their collection, so I read about 150 pages worth of information from that 600-plus page book, and I saw that it contained inaccurate, twisted, and very ludicrous interpretations of Ezekiel, Daniel, and Revelation. Perhaps that is the reason why the Watchtower Society never gives direct quotes from The Finished Mystery in their current publications, and why the Governing Body ordered it to be removed from all Kingdom Hall libraries in the middle 1980's, along with certain other books. In addition, the Watchtower has been mostly silent about the groups of Russellite Bible Students that broke away from the Watchtower between 1917 and 1931 as Joseph Rutherford made profound reforms that shaped the Watchtower into the cult it is today. I was always led to believe that the Watchtower Society had always been solidly united in love and agreement. All of those Russellite breakaway groups survive to this day and they retain all of the doctrines of Charles Taze Russell, but the Watchtower Society has deviated sharply from Russell's doctrines over the decades. Joseph Rutherford called his group of Bible Students that remained loyal to the Watchtower by the name "Jehovah's Witnesses" in 1931. Rutherford claimed that angels of God revealed this name to him. Today's Watchtower leaders claim they derived the name "Jehovah's Witnesses" from Isaiah 43:10, which says "You are my witnesses, says Jehovah (YHWH)".
THE WATCHTOWER'S FALSE PROPHECIES AND THE NEW WORLD TRANSLATION
The websites of Kent Steinhaug and Randall Watters made reference to a married couple of former Jehovah's Witnesses named William "Bill" Cetnar and Joan Cetnar. This couple was once at Bethel headquarters, and while they were there, they saw all kinds of red flags that ultimately convinced them that the Watchtower is not God's organization. I used the loan money from my college financial aid to order Bill and Joan Cetnar's book titled Questions for Jehovah's Witnesses Who Love the Truth (1983). I also purchased other books by Raymond Franz, Walter Martin and Steven Hassan. In addition, I purchased from John Ankerberg a VHS video titled 105 Years in the Watchtower Service, featuring four women who were former Jehovah's Witnesses, namely Joan Cetnar, Lorri MacGregor, Jean Eason and Helen Ortega. In their book Questions for Jehovah's Witnesses, Bill and Joan Cetnar said that among the red flags was a lack of genuine Christ-like love from the leaders at Bethel. They once worked at Bethel headquarters and they gave some accounts of Bethelites who were badly mistreated by Watchtower president Nathan Knorr, including one account of Charles De Wilda, who faithfully served at Bethel Headquarters for decades, but was disfellowshiped from Bethel and left to suffer and die as a homeless man for disputing Nathan Knorr's marriage policy. In addition, Bill and Joan Cetnar elaborated about their disagreements with the Watchtower's policy forbidding blood transfusions, and how they were both disfellowshiped because of disagreeing with this policy. Also in their book, Bill and Joan Cetnar published photocopies of the Watchtower Society's past literature. The photocopies exposed the Watchtower's false prophecies and many changes in doctrine. The Watchtower organization falsely prophesied the "end of the world" or "Armageddon" in 1874, 1878, 1881, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1941, and 1975. Bill and Joan Cetnar provided the photocopies of the Watchtower publications that originally gave these false prophecies. Plus Bill Cetnar confirmed hundreds of minor prophecies made by the Watchtower Society about various people, places and events that never became a reality, but turned out to be false instead. I had no idea that the Watchtower made these many false prophecies; I was totally oblivious of them until I did the research. I remembered my negative reaction to the 1995 doctrinal change regarding the 1914 generation, and the discovery of all these past false prophecies moved me to count that doctrinal change into the bunch of false prophecies. I personally asked my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses, especially the elderly JWs, about 1975 and other past prophecies, but none of them admitted that the Watchtower made prophecies about the end of the world. All of them lied to me and said that the organization never attempted to predict an exact year for Armageddon. The Watchtower also predicted that Armageddon would occur by the end the Twentieth Century, in the January 1, 1989 Watchtower and in Revelation: It's Grand Climax at Hand (1988 edition), page 246, but most Jehovah's Witnesses were unaware of the prophecy. I was unaware of the prophecy until I finally discovered it in 1999. Jehovah's Witnesses seem to completely ignore the divinely inspired prophecy test of Deuteronomy 18:20-22, which reads "However, the prophet who presumes to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded him to speak or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. And in case you should say in your heart: 'How shall we know the word that Jehovah has not spoken?' when the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him." (NWT 1984). When I repeatedly read this passage of scripture to my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses from the New World Translation we were using during the 1990's, virtually all of them were completely insensitive to this scripture. Some of them said there was no way the Watchtower could be a false prophet; instead, they always pointed fingers at the churches of Christendom as being false prophets.
Speaking of the New World Translation, I learned the truth about the New World Translation, as to how it was created, and the identity of the translators on the NWT translation committee. The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures was first published by the Watchtower Society in 1950, and it has been the official Bible of Jehovah's Witnesses ever since. Prior to 1950, Jehovah's Witnesses used the King James Version and the American Standard Version. The Watchtower Society claims that the members of the NWT translating committee wanted their names to be kept anonymous, saying they wanted God alone, not men, to get glory for translating the New World Translation. However, Bill and Joan Cetnar said in their book Questions for Jehovah's Witnesses Who Love the Truth that they were familiar with the five men who were on the translating committee at Bethel Headquarters, that all five of them were Jehovah's Witnesses, and that not a single one of them had a scholarly expertise in Greek or Hebrew. Former Governing Body member Raymond Franz also identified those same five men in his book Crisis of Conscience. Frederick Franz was one of the five members of the NWT translating committee, and he admitted during a 1954 Scotland court case that he was not a fluent reader or speaker of Hebrew and Greek, though he did have limited education in nonbiblical forms of Hebrew and Greek. The Watchtower Society misquoted Julius Mantey and various other biblical language scholars as praising the New World Translation as the most accurate Bible translation, but in reality, not a single formally educated Bible scholar in the world approves of the New World Translation. Virtually every biblical Hebrew and Greek scholar denounces the New World Translation as a gross perversion of inspired scripture, incorrect and dishonest. There was only one so called scholar that agreed with the New World Translation; his name was Johannes Greber, a former Catholic priest and self-proclaimed spiritist. The Watchtower consulted the Johannes Greber Memorial Foundation for counsel on how to translate scriptures pertaining to the person of Jesus Christ, including John 1:1.
READING THE BIBLE ALONE IS FROWNED UPON IN THE WATCHTOWER
The Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry and Probe Ministries and Darkness to Light Ministries were three apologetics websites that helped me to see through the false doctrines I had been taught by Jehovah's Witnesses. One of the books I ordered in 1998 as a Bible study aid was Kingdom of the Cults (1965) by Walter Martin. The Christian apologist Walter Martin was a very good friend of Bill and Joan Cetnar. Jehovah's Witnesses deny every fundamental doctrine of historic Christianity, including the deity of Jesus Christ, the bodily resurrection of Christ, and salvation by grace alone through faith alone. When I was involved with Jehovah's Witnesses, I was regularly indoctrinated against the Trinity doctrine by the Theocratic Ministry School and the Service Meeting. In almost every one of those meetings, someone in the Kingdom Hall would present either a Trinity proof text, or a straw man argument, and attempt to refute it. The Watchtower always compared the Trinity doctrine to modalism and tritheism when refuting it. At that time, I found those refutations very logical and easy to believe, since I was still unaware of the historic church's real teachings about the deity of Christ and the Trinity. I had already read the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation just prior to getting baptized as a Jehovah's Witness, but I decided to read through the entire Bible again, this time with a clear and open mind, without referring to Watchtower interpretation. I found contradictions to Watchtower doctrine the first time I read through entire Bible, but I accepted the elders' answers to all of my questions. As one of Jehovah's witnesses, I was taught that no one can learn God's truth by reading the Bible alone, that the Bible does not shine forth its life-giving truths by itself. The organization stated in the December 1, 1981 Watchtower, "But Jehovah God has also provided his visible organization, his "faithful and discreet slave," made up of spirit-anointed ones, to help Christians in all nations to understand and apply properly the Bible in their lives. Unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do." I didn't mind the Watchtower acting as an organization that teaches the Bible, as many organizations do, but I felt offended by their claim that their organization is more important than the Bible. I was offended by their claim that the Holy Spirit of the infinite God was somehow dependent on the Watchtower and thus cannot reveal spiritual understanding of the Bible to people without the Watchtower. When it comes to reading, studying and interpreting the Bible, the Watchtower rejects the orthodox Christian standard of Sola Scriptura (Latin for "scripture alone"). In fact, for virtually all of its history, the Watchtower has claimed that no one can learn the truth about God and His will by reading the Bible alone, and they justify this claim by quoting Nehemiah 8:8 and Acts 8:26-39. This particular doctrine of the Watchtower goes as far back as Charles Taze Russell, who said in 1910 that it was possible for a Bible student to learn the full truth of God's Word by reading only Watchtower literature, even if they had never read a single page directly from the Bible itself. Charles T. Russell and his Watchtower successors inadvertently admit that the Bible alone DOES NOT teach what they claim it teaches. The Watchtower actually admitted that a person would become convinced that the deity of Jesus Christ and other doctrines of Christendom are correct if they read the Bible alone. They were quoted as saying "From time to time, there have arisen from among the ranks of Jehovah's people those, who, like the original Satan, have adopted an independent, faultfinding attitude...They say that it is sufficient to read the Bible exclusively, either alone or in small groups at home. But, strangely, through such 'Bible reading,' they have reverted right back to the apostate doctrines that commentaries by Christendom's clergy were teaching 100 years ago..." The Governing Body published this statement in Watchtower, August 15, 1981, not long after the "Great Purge" of 1980, when a large number of Jehovah's Witnesses were disfellowshipped for independent thinking, independent Bible study, and questing Watchtower doctrines in the wake of the 1975 prophecy failure and the Raymond Franz incident. Anyway, I saw that all of the Jehovah's Witnesses around me were reading the Watchtower literature much more frequently than the Bible itself; even I was in the habit of reading the literature more frequently than the Bible. At the Kingdom Hall on Sundays, sometimes an entire hour of the Watchtower Study would pass by without a single instance of the Bible being opened and read before the congregation. Nearly 100% of the focus was on the material contained in the Watchtower magazine. I remember joining other JW brothers on the home Bible studies they conducted with various people. I noticed that some of my JW brothers conducted a full hour of study from the book Knowledge That Leads to Everlasting Life without even once having the home student to read directly from the Bible. Before I became a Witness, all the conductors of my Bible studies, especially Sis. Setsuko, Bro. Hoagland, and Bro. Bolton, made sure to have me read passages directly from the Bible itself during my home Bible study. I adopted their method of teaching as my own once I officially became one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Hence, during the two home Bible studies I conducted, I made sure to have the person I was teaching to read at least a few passages directly from the Bible itself; that is, passages that were relevant to the lesson for that day. After all, I thought "Why should we regard the study as a 'Bible study' if we spend a full hour studying information exclusively from a book that is NOT the Bible itself?" I began to realize that no one has ever become one of Jehovah's Witnesses by reading the Bible alone, that it takes the reading of Watchtower literature to convert someone into one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
MY SECOND READING THROUGH THE BIBLE DEBUNKS WATCHTOWER DOCTRINE
Well, once again I did read through the Bible over a nine month period, and I did it without the Watchtower's interpretation. Just like the first time, I compared the New International Version, the King James Version, and the New World Translation as I read through the entire Bible from cover to cover. I also referenced back and forth between the websites of the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry and Probe Ministries and Darkness to Light Ministries. As I read through the Bible, I saw numerous passages in the Old Testament and New Testament that prove the concept of the Trinity, the full deity of Jesus Christ, and the personality of the Holy Spirit. For example, God refers to Himself as "us" and "our" in Genesis 1:26-27, Genesis 3:22, Genesis 11:7, and Isaiah 6:8. The Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit created all things, yet Isaiah 44:24 shows God saying He created the heavens and the earth all by Himself; thus God had no outside help from a created being. God said at Genesis 1:26 "Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness," then the very next verse (vs. 27) says GOD created man in HIS image, as if God alone created man with no help from anyone else. Genesis 18 shows three men visiting Abraham and those three men turned out to be a theophany of God Himself. Genesis 19:24 shows one Jehovah calling fire and brimstone down from another Jehovah who is in the heavens, then Amos 4:11 shows God referring to someone else as God who overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah. Jehovah said at Isaiah 48:12-16 that He was sent by someone else named Jehovah and His Spirit ("the Lord GOD and his Spirit hath sent me" vs. 16). Psalm 45:6 and Hebrews 1:8 show God addressing Jesus the Son as God ("thy throne, O God, is forever and ever"). I asked myself "How could God be sent by God, or refer to someone else as God, unless He were a plurality of Persons instead of just one Person?" I read where Thomas addressed the resurrected Jesus as "My Lord and My God" at John 20:28, this reply of surprise would have been blasphemy if Jesus were not truly God. Jesus made amendments to God's Law (Matthew 5:21-44), plus Jesus had the power to read hearts (John 2:24, 25), the power to provide rest for one's soul (Matthew 11:28-30), the power to forgive sins (Luke 5:20-26), and the power to save people from their sins and give eternal life (Matthew 1:21; John 10:27, 28). The Bible clearly says repetitively that only God is capable of doing all of these things. Jesus sustains all things by the word of His power (Hebrews 1:3); no one having less than all might can sustain all things, because only an Almighty being can sustain all things. Jesus is omnipotent (Matthew 28:18; Philippians 3:21), omnipresent (Matthew 18:20; Ephesians 4:10), omniscient (John 16:30; John 21:17), immutable (Hebrews 1:12; Hebrews 13:8), and is our only Master and Lord (Jude 1:4). Jesus is prayed to and also answers prayers (John 14:13, 14; Acts 7:59, 60; 1 Corinthians 1:2), and is worshiped on multiple occasions (Matthew 28:17; Luke 24:52; John 9:38; Hebrews 1:6). The word "firstborn" for Jesus at Colossians 1:15 does not mean first-created, instead it means preeminence. I learned that the Holy Spirit is not a mere impersonal active force used by God, but is a real person. If the Holy Spirit is God's impersonal "active force", why does the Bible show the Holy Spirit as speaking directly and referring to himself as "I" and "me" in Acts 13:2? If the Holy Spirit is God's impersonal active force, how could the Holy Spirit be referred to as "He" and "Him" in John 16:7- 8 and John 16:13-14? How could an impersonal Spirit bear witness (John 15:26, Acts 20:23); be vexed or feel hurt (Isaiah 63:10); be blasphemed against (Matthew 12:31; Mark 3:29, Luke 12:10); say things to people (Ezekiel 3:24, Acts 8:29, 10:19, and Hebrews 10:15-17); forbid someone to say things (Acts 16:6); plead for Christians with groanings (Romans 8:26); be tested (Acts 5:9); send people (Acts 13:4); be a comforter or helper (John 14:16; 16:7); appoint overseers (Acts 20:28); be insulted or spited (Hebrews 10:29); have a desire (Galatians 5:17); search things out (1 Corinthians 2:10); comfort people (Acts 9:31); be grieved (Ephesians 4:30); or love people (Romans 15:30). Peter said the Holy Spirit was lied to, and that the Holy Spirit is God (Acts 5:3-4). There is no way these things could be possible unless the Holy Spirit were a real person. I saw some of these proof texts the first time I read through the Bible, but I got a much clearer picture of the God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit after reading through the Bible the second time. The Trinity is not a human concept, but a divine concept that is not totally comprehended by the finite human mind. Man-made religions (false religions) always portray their God as something that is easily understandable to finite human beings.
Also, as I read through the Bible a second time, I came to the full realization that Jesus was in fact resurrected bodily from the dead (Luke 24:36-43; John 2:19-21; Acts 2:26, 27), that Jesus will return visibly at the end of the world instead of invisibly (Matthew 24:30; Revelation 1:7), that the human soul is immortal (Ruth 2:20; Matthew 10:28; Luke 20:37, 38; Revelation 6:9-11), and that Hell is a real place of eternal fiery punishment (Matthew 25:41, 46; Luke 12:4, 5; Luke 16:22-24; Revelation 14:9-11; 20:10; 21:8). Contrary to Watchtower doctrine, there are NOT two classes of Christians with two different destinies (heaven/paradise earth); instead, ALL Christians are of ONE BODY and are destined for ONE HOPE instead of two (Galatians 3:28; Ephesians 4:4); and that one hope is the heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1; Revelation 19:1). God promises to create an eternal new heavens and new earth filled only with righteousness (Isaiah 65:17; 2 Peter 3:13). Despite the many analogies and descriptions given in Isaiah and Revelation, no one knows exactly for sure what the new heavens and new earth will be like, but all of its inhabitants will be in the direct presence of God, and God Himself will dwell with them (Revelation 21:3; Revelation 22:1-5). Jehovah's Witnesses deny the substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ for our sins, plus they deny the doctrines of imputed righteousness and the indwelling of Christ in the believer. According to the Watchtower, Jesus' death paid only for Adamic sin (original sin), not for our personal sins. They teach that Jesus' ransom sacrifice cancelled out Adam's debt of original sin on the human race to open the door for believers to work their way to salvation and eternal life on the paradise earth. This forces the individual Jehovah's Witnesses to add their own good works to the perfect work of Jesus Christ in hopes of becoming saved, and there is no assurance of salvation in the Jehovah's Witness religion. The truth is that the Blood of Jesus Christ the Son cleanses us from ALL sin, cleanses us of ALL unrighteousness (1 John 1:7-9). That includes both original sin and personal sins. Jehovah's Witnesses are part of salvation system that is based almost entirely on one's own good works. The Watchtower said in Lesson #88 of The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived, that "God will not provide special signs or miracles to convince people. They must read and apply the Scriptures if they would obtain his favor." Reading and applying the scriptures to obtain God's favor is intrinsically a works-based, highly legalistic salvation system. The Bible says God's favor is unmerited, especially as pertains to salvation. The organization placed little emphasis on salvation by "grace," which is relabeled as "undeserved kindness" in the New World Translation. None of us sinners can obtain God's favor and gain salvation through our works; this is received entirely through God's mercy and grace via faith in Jesus Christ. Mercy is God's undeserved forgiveness (Psalm 86:5; Ephesians 2:4, 5; Titus 3:5); grace is God's unmerited favor (Ephesians 2:8, 9). The Watchtower never told me about Isaiah 64:6, which says that even our most righteous deeds are like filthy rags to God; therefore, our works cannot justify us, nor can they count toward our salvation. As we have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are robed with the perfect righteousness of Christ at the moment of salvation (Isaiah 61:10), and the righteousness of Jesus Christ is imputed to our account (Romans 4:20-25). Having faith in Jesus Christ alone is sufficient for salvation. Furthermore, good works are the FRUIT of salvation, not the ROOT of salvation (Ephesians 2:10; Colossians 1:9-14; Titus 2:11-14; 2 Peter 1:3-9). Also, as I read through the entire Bible the second time, I picked up on many more passages where God promised to never leave or forsake the nation of Israel and the Jews (Genesis 17:4-9; Jeremiah 31:31-37; 32:37-41; Ezekiel 37:1-28; Amos 9:11-15; Zechariah 14:9-11; Matthew 19:28; John 4:22; Romans 11:25, 26; Revelation 7:3-8). Charles T. Russell was a Zionist who believed God still favors the Jews, but later generations of the Watchtower Society abandoned Zionism and created their own version of replacement theology. In addition, I visited the home of a Jehovah's Witness family, the Stevensons, that possessed a large collection of Watchtower literature dating as far back as C.T. Russell. I read through some of their past literature and saw just how often the Watchtower Society changed its interpretations of scripture. I saw that the Watchtower Society also flip-flopped on some of its doctrines, such as the resurrection of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah, the Faithful and Discreet Slave, the identity of Jesus Christ, the time of Christ's invisible presence, salvation doctrines, the higher powers of Romans 13:1-7, who has the right to marry, blood transfusions, and so on. As I was doing this research, I began to think that, if the Watchtower Society were truly God's organization, their doctrines would be far more truthful and consistent. I was already shaken by the discovery that the doctrines of Jehovah's Witnesses were wrong and contrary to the Scriptures, but I found these doctrinal issues to be much easier to deal with. The hardest thing for me to accept during my research was the evidence that the Watchtower Society had a history of secretly dabbling in the occult. I absolutely DID NOT want to believe that the Watchtower Society had anything to do with occultic practices in its history, beginning with C.T. Russell. I always saw Jehovah's Witnesses as having such a strong fear of demons and other things connected with the occult, so I did everything in my power to refute the idea that occultic practices existed in the Watchtower Society. However, the evidence gathered through research eventually became so overwhelming that I conceded and accepted the Watchtower Society's history of occult connections as factual.
THE WORK OF BILL AND JOAN CETNAR
Bill and Joan Cetnar identified at least five (5) lines of evidence proving that the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is not, and cannot be, God's organization. #1 is FALSE PROPHECY --- this includes foretelling future events in God's name that never come true (Deuteronomy 18:22). The Watchtower organization falsely prophesied the "end of the world" or "Armageddon" in 1874, 1878, 1881, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1941, and 1975. False prophecy also includes constantly changing doctrines and scriptural interpretations while describing such changes as "new light" or "progressive understanding" from God. Modifying or flip-flopping doctrines does not lead to progressive understanding, and old light cannot become new light again. God's truth is absolute and does not change. Over the last 135 years, the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses has changed its doctrines more frequently than all the denominations of Christendom have over the last 1600 years. #2 is DELIBERATE LYING --- the Watchtower Society has a long history of deliberately misquoting theologians and Bible scholars, giving false information about historical events in world history and church history, using straw man arguments to misrepresent the views of other religions, using a false name for God (using Jehovah instead of YAHWEH), practicing so called "justified lying" or "theocratic warfare" in court cases, using historical revisionism to hide facts about the history of the organization. They often misquote, take out of context, and misapply their own past writings as well as the writings of external sources! I will give three notorious examples of misquoting by the Watchtower. One example can be seen in their brochure Should You Believe in the Trinity?, where Tertullian and other early church fathers were misquoted and taken out of context. Another example is In their book Jehovah's Witnesses and the Divine Purpose, where the Watchtower denied having written a biography of Pastor C.T. Russell when in reality they wrote at least two biographies of him, and one of those biographies attributed "creature worship" to Russell. A third example is the Watchtower's misquoting The Imperial Bible Dictionary in their effort to prove that Jesus died on a stake instead of a cross. As far as I know, an organization that is truly of God would not lie to its own members nor to the public. #3 is CHANGING THE TEXT OF THE BIBLE IN ORDER TO CHANGE ITS MEANING --- the Watchtower Society has added words to the Bible text that are NOT in the original Hebrew and Greek manuscripts. This was done to change the meaning of the Bible text to make it agree with Watchtower doctrine. For example, John 1:1 in the New World Translation was changed from "the Word was God" to "the Word was a god." Another example is the insertion of the word "other" four times in Colossians 1:16, 17 to create the illusion that Jesus Christ is a created being instead of the uncreated, eternal Son of God. #4 is CONNECTIONS WITH SPIRITISM AND THE OCCULT --- as mentioned earlier, the Watchtower used a New Testament translation from a spiritist named Johannes Greber as they were translating their own Bible, the New World Translation. Watchtower founder Charles T. Russell had secret connections with the occult, and so did some of his successors that served as President or in the Governing Body. The Watchtower's names "New World Translation" for their Bible, and "New World Society" for their organization, are actually occultic subliminal messages signifying the New World Order proposed by the Illuminati and the Masonic Order. #5 is TAKING CHRIST'S PLACE AS SAVIOR AND MEDIATOR --- the Watchtower claims to follow Jesus Christ as their leader but they are really attempting to take Jesus' place as Savior and Mediator. According to Watchtower theology, Jesus Christ is NOT Mediator to the Great Crowd of Jehovah's Witnesses nor for the rest of humanity. The officially held doctrine is that Jesus is mediator only for the Governing Body and the 144,000 anointed ones, while the Governing Body and the 144,000 serve as mediator for the Great Crowd of Jehovah's Witnesses. This doctrine teaches that 99% of all Jehovah's Witnesses DO NOT have direct access to Jesus Christ as their Mediator, nor are they included in the New Covenant; while the rest of humanity that is outside the organization is nothing more than rubbish. However, the Bible says Jesus Christ is Mediator to ALL humanity, not just to born again Christians, and not just to members of a specific church or organization (1 Timothy 2:5, 6). The Watchtower claims to be "the Truth" and the only source of the words of everlasting life, and it compares itself to Noah's Ark and calls everyone to "Come to Jehovah's organization for salvation." Actually Jesus alone has the Words of everlasting life (John 6:68); Jesus alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6); and Jesus alone is the Ark of our salvation (Romans 8:1). The TRUTH is a person, Jesus Christ, not a church or organization or specific set of beliefs. Joan Cetnar said that the Watchtower's salvation doctrines are wrong from the book of Genesis onward. The Watchtower says what was lost in Eden was eternal life on a Paradise Earth. Yes, Adam and Eve did lose the prospect of everlasting life on a Paradise Earth when they sinned; however, the most important thing they lost was a perfect relationship with the true God, because sin separates us from the true God and brings death, and that relationship had to be re-established. God immediately made the promise to send us a Savior, referring to the Woman's Seed and His being bruised in the heel, and so forth (Genesis 3:15). Most of the objects, events and faithful people recorded in the Old Testament are types and figures of the promised Seed, who finally arrives as God's Son Jesus Christ in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. A substitutionary atonement or propitiation was provided by Christ on the cross to save us from our sins (2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Peter 2:24; 1 John 4:9, 10). Joan Cetnar pointed out that the Bible we have today was written for our benefit. The Bible is not just a book of "do's" and "don'ts" that tells us how to live our lives, rather, it is a book full of God's promises that, if we repent and believe on Jesus, our sins would be forgiven and we would have a personal relationship with the holy God. We humans were created in God's image to glorify God, and we were meant to have a personal relationship with Him. Everlasting life means getting to know God the Father and Jesus Christ through a personal relationship, not merely taking in intellectual knowledge about God and Christ (John 17:3). Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to reconciling with God and receiving everlasting life. Absolutely no person, organization or theology on this earth can accomplish what Jesus Christ has already accomplished for us.
WATCHTOWER MIND CONTROL AND HOW IT AFFECTS JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
The use of mind control techniques by the Watchtower leadership began to develop during the days of Joseph Rutherford when he began to centralize the authority in the organization, and the authoritarian mind control over the rank and file members has been gradually intensifying ever since. I purchased the book Crisis of Conscience, written by Raymond Franz, a former Governing Body member. Franz exposed many of the secret inner workings of the Watchtower's leadership (the Governing Body), especially pertaining to how and why organizational policies were made, how such policies took precedence over scripture, and how such policies were purposefully designed to micromanage every aspect of the lives of Jehovah's Witnesses. He also gave detailed descriptions of the double standards that existed among Jehovah's Witnesses, and I noticed some of these double standards in the local congregations I attended. In addition, Ray Franz gave an account of how the Watchtower Society during the late 1960's forbade the Jehovah’s Witnesses of Malawi to purchase a 25 cent political party card, and this led to the persecution, rape and slaughter of thousands of Malawi JWs by the Malawi government. While Jehovah’s Witnesses were dying in Malawi for refusing to buy the political party card, the Watchtower Society gave Jehovah’s Witnesses in Mexico permission to bribe military officials into enlisting them in the Mexican army. I found this very disturbing and heartbreaking when I read about this, since I was always convinced that Jehovah's Witnesses were staunch proponents of political and military neutrality, as well as a loving and pure organization. Much of my research on the web uncovered reports about mind control within the Watchtower organization, so I also purchased and read Steven Hassan's book Combating Cult Mind Control. Hassan used the B.I.T.E. Model to describe the mind control techniques used by most cults, whether they be religious cults, social cults, political cults or psychotherapy cults. B.I.T.E. is an acronym for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotion Control. Hassan elaborated how cults use deception in their efforts to recruit new members, and use mind control and phobia indoctrination to keep current members dependent and obedient. Some people actually say that, "If you don't want to be bound to all the strict rules of Jehovah's Witnesses, then don't get baptized." The problem with this statement is that Jehovah's Witnesses DO NOT disclose all the facts, history and rules of their organization to people they meet in the door-to-door ministry. This is tantamount to deceptive recruitment. Me and other JWs were discouraged from disclosing 100% of the facts about the organization to non-JWs, but to simply tell such people only what the Watchtower Society said was important to know. We were also told to always present the Watchtower organization in a positive light, without negativity, almost like business advertising. This "Theocratic Warfare" or "Justified Lying" was done to avoid bringing reproach on Jehovah's name and organization, and to defend the organization from God's enemies. It was practiced in court cases, during interactions with the media, and in the door-to-ministry. As I mentioned earlier in my testimony, I did not learn all the rules of the Organization until after I was baptized and given the book Organized to Accomplish Our Ministry. Steven Hassan's book never even mentioned Jehovah's Witnesses or the Watchtower Society by name; however, his book's vivid descriptions of cult mind control were eerily similar to the Watchtower Society's methods. Prior to my reading books published by Steven Hassan and Walter Martin, I did not believe Jehovah's Witnesses are a "cult." Instead, I orginally defended Jehovah's Witnesses against such an accusation, primarily because I did not yet understand the true nature of a "cult." Steven Hassan presented sociological and psychological descriptions of cults that pertain to social control and mind control. Walter Martin, in his book Kingdom of the Cults, presented theological and doctrinal descriptions of cults from the perspective of orthodox Christianity; that is, how cults teach false doctrines about Jesus Christ and salvation. The works of these two authors, along with my personal experiences in the Watchtower Society, ultimately convinced me that Jehovah's Witnesses fit the classic example of a "cult." Now I am not afraid or reluctant to use the word "cult" to describe certain groups.
I remember how well the Watchtower leadership controlled the receiving and exchanging of information among the rank and file Jehovah's Witnesses. We were forbidden to speak to former Jehovah's Witnesses (apostates), and were also forbidden to read any books or Internet websites containing religious or secular information that criticized the Watchtower organization. The Watchtower leadership trained me and other JWs to irrationally fear things such as independent thinking, apostates, apostate literature, Satan and demons, worldly people, disfellowshipping, losing salvation, Armageddon, and so on. The legalistic work-based salvation system was so demanding that I work to the point of exhaustion to engage in door to door field service and to please Jehovah. This stressed me out very much and I began to feel as I can never be good enough to truly please Jehovah. Armageddon was on my mind every day. This fear of Armageddon was even stronger when a violent thunderstorm was passing by. This same thing was true for the majority of other Jehovah's Witnesses around me in the Kingdom Halls. Steve Hassan assumes that cults purposefully keep their members very busy and heavily preoccupied with cult-related activities in order to prevent their members from having enough spare time to evaluate the realities of their cult group. Jehovah's Witnesses are programmed through indoctrination to shun even their own family or relatives that are disfellowshipped, and this feels extremely uncomfortable. The Watchtower trained us to think that, if we ever interacted with former Jehovah's Witnesses, the wrath of Jehovah God would fall upon us, and that was a very dreadful and scary feeling. The rate of mental illness, stress-related disease, and suicides is anywhere from four to twelve times higher for Jehovah's Witnesses than for people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses. The Watchtower uses such scriptures as 1 Corinthians 1:10 and Titus 3:9-11 to forbid varying opinions, diversity and critical thinking, so as to enforce the cultic "group think" among its members. Everyone in the organization is required to share the same doctrinal opinions and practice the same things. This spiritually abusive organization completely ignores such scriptures as Acts 17:11, Romans 14:1-12, 1 Corinthians 9:19-22, and 1 John 4:1-3 that allow for critical thinking and a limited degree of varying opinions and diversity. However, in order for a "Christian" organization to be spiritually healthy, critical thinking, differing opinions and diversity should be permitted among its members, for as long as its members do not hold to obvious heresies or practice things the Bible specifically and emphatically describes as sinful. Cults are known for using mind control to encourage dependence and conformity and to discourage autonomy and individuality. The Watchtower Society published a very disturbing article in January 15, 1983 that forbids independent thinking, as if JWs should allow the organization's leadership to think and reason for them. In that particular article, a mind that thinks independently of the Watchtower organization was compared to the prideful and rebellious mind of Satan the Devil. Before I became one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I enjoyed independent thinking, rational analysis and testing things to confirm truth. As an autistic person, rationality always meant more to me than humor, emotion and subjective impressions. However, the Watchtower organization wanted me and other JWs to set aside our critical thinking skills and allow its leadership to think and reason for us. Though I was attending college at this time, and college requires frequent use of critical thinking, I was beginning to feel as if my thinking was being put inside of a box. Jerry Bergman is a former Jehovah's Witness who became a psychologist, and said that the Watchtower Society's controls are so strict that it creates circumstance that are favorable for the development of anxiety, depression and mental illness. The Watchtower Society claims the claim that Jehovah's Witnesses are the happiest and healthiest people on earth, but Bergman refuted this claim when he pointed out that mental illness rates and suicide rates are higher among Jehovah's Witnesses than among people of other religions and society's general population. I personally saw many of my fellow JWs, both inside and outside the Kingdom Hall, appearing to be stressed out and feeling overburdened by the meeting attendance and field ministry, feeling depressed because of living under so many of the organization's strict rules, and feeling anxious about their salvation and the imminence of Armageddon. As escapisms, some of my fellow JWs drank lots of alcohol, while some others medicated themselves with antidepressants even as the elders advised against it.
Steve Hassan believes cognitive dissonance is the major tool for mind control, also called undue influence. Cognitive dissonance (as originally studied by Leon Festinger) is the mental state that occurs when certain thoughts, feelings, behaviors or newly received information are in conflict with one’s own belief system and identity. Cognitive dissonance may also be a mental state in which there is a conflict between what a person believes is true and what actually is true. It results when a person's beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information or by difficult circumstances. In order to deal with cognitive dissonance, a person will either avoid the conflicting information and its source, rationalize the conflicting information away, pretend that no conflict exists, or compartmentalize the conflicting information in the mind to create a "double life." Everyone will experience cognitive dissonance from anywhere and at any time for various reasons, but Hassan believes cults deliberately create cognitive dissonance in their members to manipulate, control, and exploit them. Cults teach their members to use thought-terminating cliches (such as "apostate reasoning," "the light gets brighter" and "wait on Jehovah") as a way of coping with cognitive dissonance to stay conformed to the cult's indoctrination. I personally agree with Hassan on this, as I believe that the frequent changes in Watchtower doctrines and organizational policies is purposefully done to maintain cognitive dissonance in the minds of rank and file Jehovah's Witnesses to keep them dependent on the Governing Body for guidance. Jehovah's Witnesses are already trained to see the Watchtower as "God's channel of communication," and to have a "wait on Jehovah" mentality; that is, wait for God to give you the right answers in due time through His organization. One startling thing I discovered is that many Jehovah's Witnesses who leave the Watchtower organization give up on all forms of religion and/or spirituality and become atheists or agnostics. Some of them do this because they still have the Watchtower's programming that God would never work with humanity without an organization. Others become atheists or agnostics because they think "If God is so good and never lies, then why would did the Watchtower lie to me and mistreat me?," so they reach a point where they no longer see belief in God as something reasonable. Although I had come to learn Christian doctrine, I began to feel angry with God and question Him as to why I ever got involved with Jehovah's Witnesses. Why didn't God simply show me the real truth from the outset, then I would have avoided Jehovah's Witnesses. As I was leaving the organization, part of me was tempted to give up on God and drift backwards into agnosticism, but my deeply spiritual grandparents and my Christian friends Shamika S. Edward and Quincy Smith gave me powerful motivation to not give up on God. Another example of mind control is that Me and other Jehovah's Witnesses were taught by the Watchtower to confess our personal sins, problems, and concerns to the elders of the congregation (some JWs get reproved or disfellowshipped when confessing sins). In September 1999, the elders of my congregation convinced me that my grandparents were a negative influence to my spiritual growth in Jehovah's organization. The elders started telling me this in response to my telling them about my grandparents having strong disagreements with the organization's doctrines and strict rules on social and family matters, and that my grandparents were celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays, and other holidays while I was living with them in their home. The elders thought I should move out of my grandparents' home and relocate to another residence. I accepted their advice at that time, and so I rented a cheap apartment and moved into it. After I moved into my own apartment in September 1999, the elders of my congregation shook hands with me and said I did the right thing for sake of my spiritual growth in the organization. This decision I made would eventually backfire on me later, since I did not really have my financial priorities straight at the time.
THE SPIRITUAL PARADISE ILLUSION AND WATCHTOWER HYPOCRISY
The discovery of the false prophecies, the false doctrines, and the undue influence was not the last straw for me. I still had the thought that the Jehovah's Witness organization wasn't perfect and that God would eventually correct every flaw as time passes by. That was the way I was taught to think and reason by the Watchtower Society; their mental programming was still working in my mind. The cognitive dissonance produced by the inner conflict between obvious truth and obvious falsehood was still holding a tight grip on me. I still thought the Watchtower had virtually all the right solutions for my autism, as far as spiritual encouragement and social relationships were concerned. The straw that ultimately broke the camel's back for me was seeing all the hypocrisy, pride, and lack of genuine love in this organization that so proudly claimed to be God's organization. The Watchtower always described the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses as a "spiritual paradise." According to this weird Watchtower doctrine, the spiritual paradise is a composite of four spiritual blessings: (1) all Jehovah Witnesses are spiritually awake and connected with Jehovah God through His visible organization, (2) JWs live at peace with themselves and with other Jehovah Witnesses in unifying love and support for one another, (3) JWs are protected and secure from all the evil influences of Satan's system of things, and (4) JWs are fed a constant diet of healthy spiritual food through God's visible organization. This doctrine was formulated entirely from an eisegetical interpretation of scripture instead of proper exegetical interpretation. Jehovah's Witnesses love quoting John 13:34, 35 when telling the public about how loving Jehovah's Witnesses are among themselves, but after I joined the organization, I discovered from firsthand experience that their "perfect love" and "spiritual paradise" is all but an illusion. They did not come to my aid during my moments of severe crisis; only non-JWs helped me. On top of that, some of the most prominent JWs tried to discourage me from attending college to go out in field service instead. About eighteen months after I was baptized into the organization, I began noticing many depressed brothers and sisters in my own congregation, and in every congregation I visited. I noticed this same depression at circuit assemblies and district conventions as well. A few of the brothers who worked with me in field service told me they were so stressed out by all the hard work demanded by the organization. They said they were feeling as if they could never please God enough to guarantee for themselves a place in the future paradise earth. I was feeling the very same way. Now I was beginning to get a picture of how Bro. Yomi Ajayi may have felt when I studied with him years earlier in 1993. Despite my intense effort to go from door to door as much as 50 hours monthly, and conform to all Watchtower beliefs and practices, I was NEVER rewarded with the position of ministerial servant, much less the position of elder. I gradually became more and more disillusioned with an organization that talked so much about love and being a spiritual paradise, because I saw the opposite all the time, and I had difficulty understanding why until my eyes were fully opened.
The Watchtower often belittled the churches of Christendom for widespread hypocrisy and fleecing of the flocks. The Watchtower professed to be a pure organization that harbors absolutely no hypocrisy whatsoever. However, I came to realize that there is no such thing as a perfect church or religious organization, that there are hypocrites within every religious and secular institution of our society. Because we are naturally imperfect human beings, hypocrisy will always exist in some way, shape or form. Does that make hypocrisy justified, no, absolutely not. God hates hypocrisy, and all of us should strive to avoid hypocrisy and live pure and honest lives as best we can. The fact remains is that until Christ returns, their will always be hypocrites everywhere, and we must always deal with them. Thus it is an outright lie for the Watchtower to say that the Jehovah's Witness organization is free of hypocrisy while Christendom is full of hypocrisy. In fact, as time passed, I discovered many hypocrisies in the Kingdom Hall, including greed, sexual immorality, child abuse, lying, gossiping, and countless other bad things that took place amongst individuals lauded as "holy" in the eyes of Jehovah. Even among pioneers, ministerial servants, elders, and overseers. Most of the elders, overseers, and other Watchtower officials began to appear extremely pharisitical. These leaders were sometimes harsh, extremely judgmental and were not always fair with people. Some of the brothers that worked with me in field service, especially Bro. Griffin, would tell me stories about JW brothers and sisters being caught up in divorces, premarital sex, homosexuality, child molesting, alcoholism, and extorting money through dishonest gain. My grandmother once told me that one of my third cousins on my father's side of the family was sexually abused by a Jehovah's Witness elder. I began to remember a quote from the January 1, 1986 Watchtower that said "Shocking as it is, even some who have been prominent in Jehovah's organization have succumbed to immoral practices, including homosexuality, wife swapping, and child molesting." The Watchtower leadership has converted Jehovah's Witness into some of the most sexually repressed people in the world. For example, things like casual dating and kissing before marriage were strictly prohibited. Even the sexual activities between husband and wife were tightly regulated; such as no oral sex, no anal sex, no mutual masturbation, and so on. Too much sexual repression can cause harmful stress, depression, mental illnesses, and bizarre ways of acting out one's sexual desires and tendencies. Most cases of disfellowshipping were because of sexual offenses; the rest of the disfellowshipping cases were because of questing Watchtower doctrines and policies. I saw that many of my fellow JWs were living double lives, having one foot in the organization and one foot out of the organization. I didn't take this seriously until I had been in the organization for quite a while. Even I saw myself living a double life as I attended the Baptist Student Union on my college campus. Living a double life is very common within radical religious systems that are highly legalistic, suppressing and controlling. This practice of living a double life is the result of compartmentalization, which is one of several psychological defense mechanisms that a person uses to cope with cognitive dissonance. The extreme authoritarian legalism of a cult forces an alternate personality upon the person that severely conflicts with that person's authentic personality that desires more freedom, thus creating cognitive dissonance. As a result, that person begins to act out their cult-generated personality while participating in cult group activities, then they act out their authentic personality at other moments while they are away from the cult group. In other words, part of the cult member wants to follow the cult and conform to its strict policies even if they think something about the cult is wrong, while another part of them simultaneously wants the freedom to do what they personally believe is right or important. The cult member's mind becomes compartmentalized or divided between the cult-generated personality and their authentic personality as a way of coping with cognitive dissonance, then they live a double life because of this. For example, some Jehovah's Witnesses would go home and partake of the bread and wine of Christ's Communion after openly participating in the annual Memorial at the Kingdom Hall, because they believe all true believers have the heavenly hope and that the Watchtower is wrong to limit communion only to a few selected people within the organization. Another example: the Watchtower forbids JWs from seeking help from the faith-based outreach centers of other churches, nor are JWs allowed to participate in humanitarianism or charities. Yet some active JWs would seek assistance from the American Red Cross, the Salvation Army and other Church-oriented outreach centers whenever their local Kingdom Hall is unable or unwilling to help them during times of severe crisis, and they sometimes donate to these outreach centers.
I attended two Jehovah's Witness funerals, and whenever Jehovah's Witnesses officiated over the funeral of a deceased JW brother or sister, only about 5 to 10 minutes of the funeral service focused on the deceased JW, while the rest of the funeral service consisted of a public talk about Watchtower doctrine, such as the Good News of the Kingdom, Armageddon and the Paradise Earth. Sometimes the deceased JW spent many decades of their lifetime serving in the door-to-door ministry or as a pioneer, ministerial servant, elder, circuit overseer or Bethelite, yet they received very little recognition at their own funeral. I felt disappointed by this because I thought an entire funeral service should be an occasion for mourning, honoring and paying tribute to the deceased person who was dearly loved ad cherished by some people. I was invited several times to a wedding ceremony at the Kingdom Hall, but I never attended, though I heard that the weddings were good. Another point I wish to bring out is that the Jehovah's Witness organization enforces a "QUALITY OF LIFE" value system on its members, meaning that each Jehovah's Witness must meet certain conditions in order to receive good, loving, and fair treatment. This is something the Bible does not support; it is unbiblical because it is a basic human right for all human beings to receive love, goodness, and fair treatment. All love is conditional instead of unconditional in the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses. This is true even of entire families in the organization and that is another reason why mind control cults like Jehovah's Witnesses are so destructive to families. The conditions that Jehovah's Witnesses must meet in order to be "loved" include remaining obedient to Jehovah's Witness organization as strictly possible, attending all weekly meetings, and going from door to door in field service as often as possible. The more unconformed a Witness is to the Watchtower's rules, the fewer privileges he/she will have, and the less esteemed he/she will be. Failure to maintain 100% conformity to the organization's policies increases the likelihood of being treated like a spiritually weak brother or sister, and the probability of disfellowshipping also exists. However, various types of hypocritical double standards also exist, and because of this the Watchtower has no consistent guarantee of rewards or privileges for anyone, nor is it consistent with disciplinary standards. The leadership rewards only those who they choose to reward, not those who actually deserve to be rewarded. Some of the most prominent JWs get off easier for the most serious offenses than average JWs. Women are subordinate in every aspect of the culture of Jehovah's Witnesses, although women who are pioneers may be respected somewhat more than other women in the organization.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES AND MY STRUGGLES WITH AUTISM
I have an autism-spectrum disorder I've been living with since I was a toddler. I have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD-NOS), which is a high-functioning autism-spectrum disorder similar to Asperger's Syndrome. I also have an introverted mind and personality. I wish to say for clarity's sake that people who are introverts are more concerned with the inner world of their own mind. They enjoy thinking, meditating and exploring their thoughts and feelings. Plus they tend to be more oriented with logical analysis, objectivism and realism than with subjective impressions and optimism. They are reluctant to take risks without sufficiently careful thought. Many of the philosophers, artists, composers and inventors in world history were introverts. Contrary to common belief, introversion is not the same as shyness, because shyness stems from uncertainty, anxiety and social phobia. Introverts often minimize their involvement in social situations because being around so many other people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. Introverts often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading alone, writing alone, using computers alone, and doing outdoor activities alone. After associating with other people for a prolonged period of time, such as at a church service or a birthday party, introverts seek out time alone to "recharge" their mind and body. Male introverts outnumber female introverts by a 3 to 1 ratio. Introverts are not necessarily autistic; there are plenty of nonautistics (neurotypicals) that are introverts. I have both introversion and autism. Autistic males outnumber autistic females by a 4 to 1 ratio, and the exact causes of autism are intensely debated by physiological and psychological experts. Autism is not the same as mental retardation, nor is it the same as mental illnesses like schizophrenia, nor is it the same as personality disorders. In any particular case of autism, the brain's neuroconnections are organized somewhat differently from the normal brain. Some forms of autism are more or less severe than others. I was first diagnosed when I was a 2-year old toddler and every psychiatrist and behavior therapist that evaluated me over the many years have independently reached the same conclusions about my autism-spectrum disorder. I have very good intelligence and extraordinary reasoning ability in a logical and rational sense, but I have always had a social skills deficit that is unique to persons with autism. I have difficulty understanding slang and figurative language in conversations, so I tend to take things very literally when people talk to me. Like most autistics, I find it extremely difficult to read nonverbal communications, such as the many types of body language and facial expressions associated with the various emotions of other people. I have great difficulty expressing humor and understanding the humor expressed by others. Also like most autistics, I do have sexual feelings and desires, but I have little or no since of romance, although I do my best to write and talk like it. Autistic males have much greater difficulty establishing and maintaining sexual relationships than autistic females do. In fact, about 5 out of 8 autistic males (62.5%) experience involuntary celibacy until very late in their adult life (ages 35 and older), partly because of social stigma, autistic symptoms and poor social skills. The majority of autistic males become late bloomers with regards to starting and maintaining an intimate romantic relationship. In addition, many autistics have an enormous struggle with self-centeredness that is far more extreme than that of neurotypicals (people who do not have autism), and I am no exception.
I was in DENIAL about my autism for the first 15 years of my life, up until 1991. When I was young, I hated it when my mother enrolled me into special education classes, and I hated it whenever she took me to those psychiatrists and therapists. Also, I hated being called "crazy" and treated differently by my fellow classmates during K-12 education, because I thought I was exactly normal and the same as "everyone else." I also had difficulty dealing with my autism during my college years, especially on the social level, but I had already overcome my denial before entering college. I had already owned up to the reality of my having autism. As far as relationships and friendships are concerned, some of my communications, behavioral habits and weird gestures were irritating or puzzling to people, and because of that I've never been likeable to the point of having stable relationship or many friends or admirers, but only very few friends. My introverted personality was a real turn off to various kinds of people around me. Even my own mother, siblings and extended family had somewhat of a difficult time understanding me for the autistic and introverted person I am, although they still loved me very much. Even as I continued to experience these troubles with stigma and social connections, I gradually owned up more and more to my being different from other people because of autism, and my life began to change for the better once I totally accepted the fact that I was different. As you might imagine, I must have felt very lonely and depressed. Yes, I did feel very lonely and depressed. I developed a habit of isolating myself from other people, sometimes to the point of being reclusive at home, just to avoid the stinging pains resulting from being ridiculed and picked at by my peers. I also started talking to myself, as if there was no other person to communicate with about my deepest concerns except for me, but the loneliness and depression did not go away. Sometimes I felt very envious of other guys for having female companions while I was totally lacking a female companion. I sometimes felt that God's gift of life was worthless to me, that life was not worth living, and I had recurrent suicidal thoughts. I did feel very lonely and depressed. As far as spirituality is concerned, my battle with autism has been a major motivator in my seeking God and the wisdom and strength that only He can provide.
Finding solutions and comfort for my autism was one of the reasons why I joined Jehovah's Witnesses. I thought they would provide the best refuge from the world's nasty social stigma and misunderstanding toward autistic people. I had a closed door meeting with my congregation elders four times to talk to them about my autism and receive counsel from them. At the first meeting, which took place in early 1997, they told me that my autism was not the result of sinful conduct or irresponsible parents or demonic spirits, but rather was a result of events and circumstances associated with "time and unforeseen occurrence." (Ecclesiastes 9:11 NWT 1984). I told them that I had been enrolled in special education classes as a child while in grade school and that I also received professional help from psychotherapists in the past. I told them I looked forward to continuing my psychotherapeutic treatment. However, the elders described psychotherapy as a source of "worldly wisdom" and they quoted Psalm 146:3-5, Colossians 2:8, 1 Timothy 6:20-21 and 1 Corinthians 3:18-21 to prove their point. At each of the four meetings, they said that reading the Bible, studying Watchtower publications and seeking edification from congregation meetings will profit me so much better than seeking counseling and medical treatment from a psychotherapist. I put my psychotherapeutic treatment on hold, and made a commitment to apply the advice of the elders. However, the elders of the congregation did not have educational degrees in psychology nor did they have licenses to practice the counseling needed for autistics and mentally ill people. While the Watchtower Society does train its elders to perform certain types of ministry and judicial procedures, the Watchtower does not train its elders about autism and the special considerations of families challenged by it. Jehovah's Witnesses are staunch "cessationists;" that is, they do not believe in faith healing, and they do not believe that the religious efforts of a Christian today are likely to result in a miraculous recovery. I was told by the elders that I may get some amount of personal improvement and comfort if I put everything I had into following the organization's advice, but most best hope and cure would be the future Paradise Earth when Jehovah will remove all physical and mental imperfections.
As things ultimately turned out, the response of the people among Jehovah's Witnesses to my autism and introversion was not much different from the responses of people outside the organization. Actually, I would say that I met many Christendom believers and psychotherapists that treated me far better than Jehovah's Witnesses ever did. Jehovah's Witnesses everywhere gossiped about me just as badly as unbelievers out in the world. Only few of the brothers were willing to go out in field service with me, so I used my car to go in field service alone most of the time. Outside of my infrequently attending picnics, Super Bowl parties, restaurant gatherings and a few other social gatherings with them, social interactions outside the Kingdom Hall meetings and field service was cold. Over time, I noticed that extraverted brothers and sisters were treated somewhat better than introverted brother and sisters; they also attained more privilege within the organization. There were also a number of other autistic, mentally retarded or Down's Syndrome or introverted individuals in the six Jehovah's Witness congregations I either regularly attended or visited in my community (there were five English congregations, and one Spanish congregation). I noticed that virtually all of those people were treated the same way I was treated. I saw that almost no one in the Kingdom Hall was willing to engage in serious conversation with them, hug them, or shake their hand. I felt like I was in their shoes, so I regularly talked to them, shook their hand, and offered to study the Watchtower publications with them. One terrible thing to note is that even some of my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses who had autistic children or family members were somewhat cold toward me and toward others that were mentally handicapped or introverts. I thought that was very hypocritical for people who professed to be the most loving group of people on earth as "Jehovah's happy people." Cult experts Steven Hassan, Robert J. Lifton and Margaret T. Singer said that cults generally avoid recruiting people who might be a burden to them, such as the physically handicapped, the mentally handicapped, alcoholics, drug addicts and career criminals. If the cults ever do recruit such people, they usually remain at the bottom of the cult's hierarchy and almost never gain privileged positions of leadership or responsibility. I never attained a privileged position among Jehovah's Witnesses, not even as a ministerial servant; however, I did hear of a couple of high-functioning autistics who became ministerial servants or elders, but only after DECADES of working extra hard for the organization. One elder in my congregation suggested appointing me as a ministerial servant but the Presiding Overseer and the rest of the Body of Elders disagreed. The cult experts also said that whenever a healthy member of a cult becomes disabled in any way, they often lose their privileged status and are sometimes looked down upon or cast to the wayside by other members of the cult, or they may even be expelled from the cult. Ex-JWs who were former Bethelites told stories about Bethel Headquarters letting go of hardworking Bethelites whose working capacity was diminished due to injury, disease or age, and the Watchtower did not give those people any form of special coverage, compensation or reward for their many years of hard work. The Watchtower spends so much time and money denouncing the churches of Christendom, yet, unlike the churches of Christendom, the Watchtower does not adequately meet the medical needs of its own elderly people. Ironically, a significant fraction of elderly Jehovah's Witnesses end up in hospices and nursing homes owned by Catholic and Protestant Churches to be treated by the same religious groups they spent many years denouncing.
MY LOSS OF CONFIDENCE IN THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS ORGANIZATION
I had almost no peers of my own age group in my Kingdom Hall, until I met a fellow ASU student named Christi Hardin among Jehovah's Witnesses in 1999. She was a business major at ASU, and she was associating with Jehovah's Witnesses. I tried to be friendly toward her both on ASU campus and at the Kingdom Hall but she treated me exactly the same way Jehovah's Witnesses would treat a disfellowshipped brother or sister who became apostate. This really depressed me, and more negative opinions about the Watchtower organization filled my mind because of how this JW sister treated me, partly because the Watchtower established strict policies that created a fire wall between males and females, between young people and older people, and between prominent JWs and ordinary JWs in the organization. The Watchtower is organized into a hierarchical pecking order. For the most part, you're either a teacher or a student, a leader or a follower, in the Watchtower. It is challenging to accumulate close relationships in the Watchtower. Most JWs don't develop strong friendships within the organization until after they have been part of it for a few years. Jehovah's Witnesses get so much pleasure from talking negatively about other religions, talking about bad, wicked, defective, irresponsible, worldly, sex hungry, and drug hungry the people are. I would be in a car riding with a group of Jehovah's Witnesses and I would hear my fellow brothers and sisters saying all kinds of terrible things about the people of Christendom who believe in the Trinity, grace salvation, immortal soul, and hell fire. They would constantly laugh Christendom's followers to scorn. I enjoyed laughing with them, until I began learning the truth about Bible doctrine and realized that most of Christendom actually adheres to the Bible's truth, while Jehovah's Witnesses were false. I began to feel much sympathy for the people of Christendom, as well as the so called "worldly people." I would hear Jehovah's Witnesses constantly refer to their organization as "The Truth", talking about who was disfellowshipped from "The Truth" or who came back into the "The Truth." I began to think that, if a person or organization is truly of God, they would have extreme love, pity, and compassion for spiritually lost people who are under the wrath of God and destined for destruction, or the terrifying day of Armageddon. Apparently my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses did not have that kind of love and compassion for the spiritually lost that were not Jehovah's Witnesses. The Watchtower always indoctrinated us to look down on all people and things that are outside of Jehovah's organization. As I continued to learn more of God's truth, many of the conversations among Jehovah's Witnesses began to dishearten me and anger me, even as they continually called their organization "The Truth" when it really was not, so I began to stay out of their conversations. I saw that they talked more about the Governing Body and the Faithful and Discreet Slave more than they talked about Jehovah God and His Son Jesus Christ. Also they talked little about Jesus Christ and apparently gave Him very little honor. To the JWs, Jesus was seen only as God's second in command, a good example to follow, a good moral teacher, and mentioning His name in prayer to God was nothing more than a password for the prayer to be answered. All of this began to grieve me, since I had already learned that Jesus alone is our Lord, Savior and Mediator; that He must be honored the same way the Father is honored, as well as worshiped and prayed to. Eventually I began to isolate myself from the other Jehovah's Witnesses and began doing things alone during my last six months in the organization, both inside and outside the Kingdom Hall.
The Watchtower often boasted that Jehovah's Witnesses were the only good and loving people on earth, as if Jehovah's Witnesses were so full of love and goodness that they would regularly risk their own life if it would save one of their fellow JWs from adversity or danger. However, I did not see this as a reality within the organization. The Watchtower presented a facade of love, but its members were really sacrificed for the sake of the organization. The Watchtower's indoctrination and mental programming was so persistent and so powerful that me and my fellow JWs were inclined to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to so many obvious truths and realities around us, which included turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the reality that there really are genuinely good, loving and wise people outside of the Watchtower organization. Eventually, there came a time when I could no longer turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the love, goodness and wise counsel of non-JWs because God began to open my eyes and ears wide. Cognitive dissonance began to escalate in my mind as I saw non-JWs showing love, kindness and compassion toward me in ways that my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses were expected to do but never did. One example was in late 1999, when a Christian woman used her debit card to pay the full price for $72 dollars worth of groceries I was buying but could not pay for them, because my credit card had unexpectedly frozen and declined the purchase while I was at the checkout. This kind and compassionate lady offered to pay the full price of $72 dollars without me asking her first, and she expected nothing in return. She said that the Lord Jesus Christ would reward her in other ways, in addition to her receiving eternal blessings in Heaven. Afterward, I felt so relieved that I did not have to leave all those groceries behind in the store and go home without any food to eat. Then I thought to myself, "Would one of my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses have done what this woman did? I haven't seen it yet. I thought the Watchtower said that non-JWs were always bad people." There were also other examples of love, goodness and wise counsel from non-JWs. After I moved out of my grandparents' home and into my own apartment, I ran low on money very quickly. I did not have a job at the time, and I did not get much in student loans from my college attendance. My fellow Jehovah's Witnesses were reluctant to help me when I talked to them about my financial situation, but outsiders were eager to help. In 1998, I stayed about 48 hours in the hospital because of an acute illness, and I told my fellow JWs about it, but none of them visited me nor returned my phone call while I was hospitalized, nor did any of them send a "Get Well" card. However, my grandparents and several college friends did call me and visit me. My sky blue 1986 Ford Taurus began to have engine problems and power steering problems. My monthly utility bill was difficult to pay off, and my electric service were turned off at one point. I had trouble paying my car insurance. Finally, the landlord of my apartment was hounding me for delinquent rental payments. Only non-JWs helped me with these problems, while my fellow JWs seemed to be insensitive to my pleas for help. Whenever my car broke down on the road, or a tire went flat, none of my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses helped me to fix the problems. Whenever I asked them for help, they always made up excuses for not helping me. Only non-Jehovah's Witnesses, worldly people, and Christendom's churches helped me. My grandparents helped me with some of everything, including my utilities, rental payments, and my car until I finally got my finances back in order. My Christian friend Quincy also helped me, as well as fellow members of the Baptist Student Union, the Salvation Army, and the outreach centers of various churches in the community. Jehovah's Witnesses helped me with none of my toughest problems. Even the same elders that put it into my mind to move out of my grandparents house and into my own apartment did not help me to keep the apartment, nor to stay in college. This absolutely tore me apart inside. I asked myself "How can this possibly be God's organization of love and truth when its people are acting as if my problems don't even matter. Where is the strong bond of brotherly love the Watchtower promised in their literature?" I admit that Jehovah's Witnesses generally are good people, like Sis. Setsuko for example. However, it seemed that most of the loving and kind treatment I received from Jehovah's Witnesses prior to my baptism was nothing more than love bombing, a cult recruiting technique. The high level of love and kindness I received from Jehovah's Witnesses declined dramatically after I became a baptized member of the organization, then I began to feel more used than loved.
About six months before I distanced myself from Jehovah's Witnesses, I started asking the elders questions about some of the facts I discovered about the Watchtower's history. I also ask them questions about the many scriptures I had read that the Watchtower never explains in its literature. They were glad to receive my questions at the beginning, but they eventually began to discourage me from asking so many questions. They said "Read the magazines and the other literature to find your answers, but if you can't find your answers that way, just wait on Jehovah and stop jumping ahead of the organization. If you keep asking these kind of questions, we will not allow you to comment at the meetings for a while." Essentially the elders threatened to punish me just because I asked them to help me better understand the Bible and the organization's history. I stopped asking questions after that moment, and kept all my questions to myself. Furthermore, the congregation meetings were beginning to become boring, because I was not receiving any newer, more advanced teachings on top of what I had already learned. A change in Watchtower doctrine by the Governing Body was the only time I received new information that was not repeated to me in the past. Outside of that, I was always hearing the same fluffy, watered down sermons that only repeated information I had already learned. There was no solid food, no meat and vegetables; instead, it was only milk all the time. One JW sister in my Kingdom Hall told me that after a person had been part of the organization for roughly three years, they would have received all the doctrinal information they would ever receive, except when new light comes from Watchtower headquarters. About every sixty days, I was assigned to give a talk for the Theocratic Ministry School. I will never forget my last talk I gave before the congregation in April 2000. I preached a sermon that was perfectly tied in with Watchtower doctrine, and a few people in the audience applauded me for my sermon. However, when I returned to my chair to sit down, I realized that I did not believe a single thing I said in that sermon, because none of the points were biblical. Nothing the Watchtower taught seemed to make sense anymore. This was in addition to the lack of genuine love and the gross hypocrisy I had been observing on a regular basis. I felt so depressed for the rest of that meeting, and after that meeting was over, I left the Kingdom Hall that night and cried when I arrived home.
MY DISFELLOWSHIPPING FROM THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
The last time I attended a worship service at the Kingdom Hall was May 14, 2000. I told my beloved grandparents that I was distancing myself from Jehovah's Witnesses because I no longer agreed with their doctrines, because I became convinced the Watchtower was a false prophet, and because the organization did not show the intense unfailing love promised in their publications. My grandparents took my words as very good news, and they were very happy for me, now that I was distancing myself from Jehovah's Witnesses. My Christian friend Quincy was also happy for me. Around this time, Quincy graduated from ASU and began attending a seminary school in Atlanta. Meanwhile, I began visiting a number of different churches in my local community after cutting myself off from Jehovah's Witnesses, including an African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church, several Baptist churches, Trumpet of God, Rhema Word, and several nondenominational churches. As I was feeling so let down by the Watchtower Society, my grandparents and some of my Christian friends like Quincy encouraged me to never give up on seeking God and Christ, so I began searching for a new place of worship that followed the true Jesus of the Holy Bible. I tried my best to "fade away" from the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses, but the congregational discipline of the organization eventually caught up with me. I was later disfellowshipped (excommunicated) from the Jehovah's Witness organization in the autumn of the year 2000 after a JW sister reported me to the elders when she saw me visiting a church, Greater Second Mt. Olive Baptist Church. The JW elders did not like what I was doing. They regarded the churches of Christendom as Babylon the Great, the world empire of false religion (Revelation 17 and 18), so they sent me a certified letter in the mail, requesting me to appear at a judicial committee that would decide whether or not I should be disfellowshipped for APOSTASY. By the way, the Watchtower organization defines APOSTASY as the act of dissenting from the doctrines and practices mandated by Jehovah's visible theocratic organization. Any Jehovah's Witness who deviates from 100% conformity to Watchtower doctrines and practices is considered an APOSTATE, and is subject to being disfellowshipped. The elders of the JW congregations are the police force of the Watchtower society. They not only preach doctrine, but also keep the congregations organized, enforce the strict Watchtower rules, and handle judicial matters over sinful conduct and apostasy. The elders did mention to my congregation that they had secret meetings to discuss confidential matters and judicial matters, but, like most of my fellow JWs, I was totally unaware that the Watchtower distributed secret publications to the elders (Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock and Shepherd the Flock of God) until after I found out about it while surfing the Internet. My judicial hearing lasted three and a half hours (3 1/2 hours) at the Kingdom Hall before a committee of three elders, one black elder and two white elders. I was the only person allowed in the conference room with the three elders. No friends or family were allowed to accompany me as a defense witness. The elders were not hostile with me or anything; instead, they were acting very concerned about me. They asked why I had stopped attending the congregation meetings and stopped participating in the door to door ministry. They also asked me why I was attending the churches of Christendom, as reported by other members of the congregation. I was honest with the committee of elders and confessed to them that I was in fact attending different churches, plus I admitted to attending the Baptist Student Union on my college campus. I gave the elders my reasons why I distanced myself from the organization to explore various churches. First, I told them that I was deeply disappointed with the organization for presenting only an outward facade of love instead of real unconditional Christ-like love, as commanded by the Bible. The elders were well aware of my lifelong history of autism, and I told them I was expecting the love promised by the Watchtower in its publications to be a very positive influence on aspect of my life, especially on the social and spiritual aspects, but the Watchtower organization was of no help to me in that regard. Furthermore, I also told the elders that, after doing independent research on the organization's history, I came to the conclusion that the Watchtower is a false prophet that falsely predicted the end of the world multiple times, almost like "the boy who cried wolf." The elders were already familiar with the Bible's statement that Jehovah God disciplines the people He loves, so I told the elders that, if the Watchtower were truly God’s organization, then God would discipline the organization to correct it and set matters straight, just as God also disciplined the nation of ancient Israel on multiple occasions whenever they erred from God’s righteous standards. However, I saw absolutely no sign of God’s disciplining hand on the Watchtower Society as I looked back at its long history. In addition, I told the elders that, after thoroughly reading through the entire Bible twice in a two year period, I came to the conclusion that nearly half of the Watchtower's doctrines were totally false and did not tie in with the Bible. I told the committee of elders that, because of the false prophecies, false doctrines and lack of genuine Christian love, I was no longer convinced that the Watchtower was God's exclusive organization. In response, the elders fought tooth and nail to defend the organization against my statements. Actually, the elders and I argued with each other for 3 1/2 hours over various doctrines, as well as the Watchtower Society's dark history, its alleged false prophecies, its mind control techniques, and its oppressive organizational policies that took precedence over scripture. At some point during the judicial hearing, the elders asked me to leave the conference room and wait outside for about 30 minutes while they discuss my case, then they called me back into the conference room. After I reentered the conference room, the elders told me they had decided to disfellowship me for APOSTASY. They offered me a chance to appeal the decision, but I told them I did not plan to appeal. I did not have any immediate family or relatives as baptized members of the organization at the time, therefore, my disfellowshipping was not as hard for me as it would be for most other Jehovah's Witnesses. My older sister was an unbaptized publisher in the organization at the time of my disfellowshipping but she eventually stopped associating with Jehovah's Witnesses and moved on with her life. After I left the Watchtower, I began to feel as if I were set free from chains and shackles; I felt so much more freedom. I was able to concentrate more on my academic studies in college, since door to door field service and other burdensome Watchtower activities were no longer part of my life. My grades in college began to improve and my cumulative GPA began to climb back up to good standing. I finally graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in sociology four years after leaving the Watchtower.
ADVICE TO CURRENT JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
If there are any active Jehovah Witnesses reading this testimony, I hope they will understand that they DO NOT have to fear the Watchtower. I hope they will refuse to retain the mental programming that Jehovah's Witnesses are God's only true organization. They should not continue buying into the idea that following the Watchtower is the same as following God, or that leaving the Watchtower organization is synonymous with leaving God. I plead to them to go out and do their own independent research on the organization's history and test Watchtower's doctrines by reading the Bible itself, without wearing the Watchtower's "eyeglasses," to confirm whether the Watchtower is right or not. They should learn to think independently. If they discover anything wrong with the Watchtower and its doctrines, they should learn to separate God from the Watchtower and do not blame God for the Watchtower's errors, because the perfect God of truth does not fail anyone. I personally agree with what Steve Berg said in his 1993 testimony: --- >>>"But if I could say anything to Jehovah's Witnesses today, it would be to not only not be afraid of the truth, but also, to not be afraid of the lies. If Satan has set before you poison from the table of demons as a recent Watchtower article referred to apostate material, then God will not allow you to die from it. But if you're not allowed to compare the good food with the poison, how are you going to know the difference? You could be eating the poison without even knowing it, even though it looks so good. And think about this, if someone were serving you poison, wouldn't they be the ones trying to keep you from checking out the good stuff? I'm not afraid anymore to look at anything that challenges my beliefs. In fact, I want to look at it because I know the truth will stand and that if I'm truly seeking after the truth, God will not let me be led astray. So, I want to encourage all Jehovah's Witnesses, if you really do believe that you have the truth, be bold and take a firm stand against all those other religions in the world that are attacking you and prove them wrong. Go ahead and look at the attacks made by these so-called apostates and opposers and defend your faith by exposing their lies. Grab that bull by the horns and logically refute its false claims; don't run away and ignore it."
MORE ON WATCHTOWER CULT MIND CONTROL
The Watchtower breaks up families not only through disfellowipping, shunning and social isolation, but also through child custody cases in the court of law. The Watchtower even published a manual titled Preparing for Child Custody Cases (1988) that teaches Jehovah's Witnesses how to use "Theocratic War Strategy" or "justified lying" in order to misrepresent their JW doctrines and lifestyle while testifying in the court of law. Over the years, I saw the news media give numerous reports about Jehovah's Witnesses being involved in child custody cases, and the first case I remember was around the beginning of 1990 in West Palm Beach, Florida. In that child custody case, a divorced couple battled in court for custody of their only son. After the couple divorced, the mother decided to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses and she already had full custody of the boy, who was seven years old at the time. However, the father felt very uncomfortable with his ex-wife's plans to raise their son in the Jehovah's Witness religion. In response, the father decided to file a court case to win custody of his son, because he feared that the strict indoctrination and practices of Jehovah's Witnesses would endanger his son's life, well-being and chances for a successful future. In court, the father said he was opposed to the following eighteen things about JWs that could endanger his son: no holiday celebrations, no birthday celebrations, no voting, no political participation, no saluting the national flag, no military service, no blood transfusions when needed, very limited opportunities for college, no regular association with non-JWs (not even with non-JW relatives), no casual dating, no marrying a non-JW, restricted sexual behavior in the marriage bed, shunning disfellowshipped JWs (including those in the family), the requirement to put less time into one's job and more time into unpaid field service, the idea that demons are everywhere to threaten God's people, the idea that Jehovah's Witnesses are the only valid religion, the idea that Watchtower literature should be preferred above all other sources of information, and the worldview that everyone and everything outside of the Jehovah's Witness organization is evil and controlled by Satan. The father did not want his son to be limited by the Watchtower Society to this type of lifestyle for the rest of his life. The father wanted his son to have freedom to explore other religious and secular institutions of the world, without being restricted only to the filtering and radical religious propaganda of the Watchtower Society. The court understood every point the father and his lawyer made about Jehovah's Witnesses, thus the court awarded the father full custody of the boy, although the boy was still free to attend the Kingdom Hall with his mother if he chose to do so. The court cited that it is the court's constitutional duty to keep the best interests of children in mind, regardless of exclusivistic religious value systems. The court supported the boy's freedom of religion, independent thinking and right to choose whatever lifestyle he wanted to have. More than a decade later in 2001, that same boy reappeared in the media on a cable news network as a college freshman and talked about his memories of the case. Plus he thanked his father for showing loving care that made a big positive difference in his life by keeping him free from the Watchtower's iron grip. The boy said he hoped to finish college at the University of Central Florida (UCF) and eventually attend Law School to become a lawyer for child custody cases.***Please know that, when this boy's child custody case transpired around the beginning of 1990, I told Sis. Setsuko and the JW elder Bro. Hoagland about the case after the news media aired the story. They said that the child custody case was nothing more than a vivid illustration of the extreme hostility that worldly people and Satan the Devil have toward the "high moral standards" of God's organization.***
As I mentioned earlier, my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses did not come to my aid during my moments of severe crisis, and they treated me like a "weak brother," primarily because of how the Watchtower's indoctrination mentally conditioned them to think and behave. The minds of most Jehovah Witnesses is inflated with a "superiority complex" in which they look down on so many kinds of people, even among themselves. While I was still in the organization, I began to notice that their were two types of Witnesses in the Kingdom Halls. The majority of them were Watchtower Witnesses who sought to please only the leadership of the Watchtower Society. The rest of them were Jehovah's Witnesses who were very humble, virtuous, and sought a true loving relationship with Jehovah God through Jesus Christ. Many JW's are actually convinced that the Watchtower is not truly of God, and so many of them desperately want to leave the Watchtower Society. These JWs make up a group known as the Conscious Class, because they are well aware of the Watchtower's false prophecies, false doctrines, ridiculous doctrinal flip flops, the hypocrisy among the elders, the Watchtower's connections with the occult, the lack of Christ-like love in the organization, and the mind control techniques used by the Watchtower leadership. So many of these JWs of the Conscious Class feel trapped inside the Watchtower; they fear losing their families if they were ever disfellowshipped or attempted to leave, because their family would stop speaking to them if they were to leave. Can you imagine your entire family turning against you and forsaking you? Well, if you are a Jehovah's Witness with many Jehovah's Witnesses in your family, the Watchtower has indoctrinated them to turn against you if you ever leave the organization. That indoctrination and mind control is like a disease that infects the family and transforms natural family love into the conditional love commanded by the organization. The Watchtower uses disfellowshipping and extreme shunning as part of its church discipline, and this method of discipline creates an extraordinary amount of fear in the minds of Jehovah's Witnesses. Personally, I am not against church discipline, because I think it is desperately needed in the congregations of God's people, and I am angered that many modern churches are no longer practicing church discipline, thus allowing sinful lifestyles, destructive gossiping and unbiblical doctrines to run rampant in the churches. My point is that I am strongly against the methods of church discipline practiced by Jehovah's Witnesses and other destructive mind control cults, because their discipline is excessively harsh, destructive to families, unhealthy to the soul, and goes beyond what is written in the scriptures. The Bible prophesied at 2 Timothy 3:3 that certain people would be "heartless," "unloving" or "without natural affection" (Greek = ἄστοργος = astorgos), referring to a lack of love for one's own natural family. The Watchtower and other destructive cults are dividing and destroying families through their methods of mind control, thus they are helping to fulfill the prophecy of 2 Timothy 3:3. Although the Watchtower pictures itself as a high tower that prophetically sees into the future and warns people of the approaching great and fear-inspiring day of Jehovah, I personally see it as being more like the guard tower in a prison, surrounded by an electrified fence with barbed wire and razor wire, and not allowing anyone to escape. Some who are trapped inside do manage to break through that barbed wire, electricity and razor wire, but they often get injured and scarred from the experience of escaping. THERE IS NO HONORABLE WAY OUT OF THE WATCHTOWER ORGANIZATION. This is why former Jehovah's Witnesses who convert to true Christianity are some of my greatest exemplars in the faith, because they literally give up EVERYTHING to follow Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, including their family, friends, job, material possessions, worldview, religion and so on (Matthew 10:34-39; Mark 10:28-30; Luke 14:26-33; John 12:25, 26; Philippians 3:7, 8).
Our culture has always expressed a nasty stigma against Jehovah's Witnesses. People always go around bashing Jehovah's Witnesses and former Jehovah's Witnesses without understanding cult mind control and its extremely powerful effects. Despite their expertise in psychology, most psychiatrists and licensed professional counselors (LPCs) fail to understand cult mind control and its effects on cult members. Even most Christians fail to understand the full extent of the Watchtower's mind control, its effects on current JWs, and recovering former JWs. In light of my firsthand experience, I am now totally convinced that Jehovah's Witnesses are a destructive mind control cult, that oppresses individuals and destroys families. Being member of a cult is NOT the same as membership of any world religion or Christian denomination. Cults cleverly use schemes and trickery to lure people into their group, and systematically use mind control to keep their members inside. Cults do not tolerate independent thinking, and they indoctrinate their members to portray independent thinking as prideful, evil, and satanic. The countercult ministries are convinced that the Watchtower uses its constant repetitive indoctrination sessions (Watchtower studies/book studies) to induce hypnotic suggestion on its members to make indoctrination more effective, and this is another form of mind control. I remember how skilled the Watchtower was at using mystical manipulation, love bombing, loaded language, propaganda techniques, and information restrictions to influence my mind and the minds of my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses. Many cults use mind control techniques to create an "alternate personality" in each of their members, and in turn, each member suppresses their real personality so that they can readily display the alternate personality created by the cult demanding their allegiance. If a Christian wishes to be most effective at sharing the Gospel with JWs, Mormons, or any other cult member, they must understand how powerful the mind control of their cult actually is. Anyone who is unable or unwilling to preach to someone through love has absolutely no business preaching the Gospel to them. Jehovah's Witnesses and other mind control cults indoctrinate their members into seeing the world of outsiders as evil and demonic. The members are indoctrinated to believe that Satan is using Christendom, the government, and other external entities to attack or persecute their group that is "chosen by God". My paternal grandparents and my Christian friend Quincy Smith did not go about attacking me and hurting my feelings while I was a Jehovah's Witness; instead, they preached to me out of Christ-like love. They also treated me well through love and goodness, plus they set a good Christ-like example for me to follow. They allowed the glorious light of Christ to shine forth from them through both their words and lifestyle. It was that kind of loving, Christi-like spirit that led me out of the Watchtower and ultimately drew me to the true Jesus Christ. If they had been harsh toward me while I was under the Watchtower's mind control, most likely I would have reacted very negatively, or backed away from them in fear and disgust, since I was trained by the Watchtower to react that way to outsiders who confront Jehovah's Witnesses. Another fellow ASU student named Shamika Edward also helped me in encouraging ways during the first five years after my leaving the Watchtower. Believe it or not, it takes the average JW anywhere from 1 to 30 years to completely recover from the mental programming of the Watchtower, depending on how they mentally train themselves after leaving the organization. My personal experiences with the Watchtower Society were not as bad or adverse as the experiences of some other Jehovah's Witnesses. Some of my fellow Jehovah's Witnesses experienced things far worse than I did, especially those that were born and raised in Jehovah's Witness families and therefore grew up under the programming, or those who were shunned by their entire family after they were disfellowshipped, or those who suffered long term health problems or died because of refusing a blood transfusion, or those who lost a loved one because of the prohibition against blood transfusions, or those who spent time in prison after evading the military draft in behalf of the Watchtower Society, or those who experienced sexual abuse or domestic violence at the hands of other Jehovah's Witnesses. Indeed, I was shunned by Jehovah's Witnesses after I was disfellowshipped but the shunning was not as painful as that experienced by most former JWs since my family was not deeply rooted in the Organization. I do consider myself somewhat fortunate, but I also feel deep compassion for current JWs who are still oblivious of The Truth About The Truth (TTATT), and for Conscious Class JWs who desire to leave the organization but find it difficult to leave. I also feel much compassion for former JWs who are still struggling to move on with their lives and establish a happy and prosperous future.
IS THERE A BABY IN THE WATCHTOWER'S BATHWATER?
Some people make the assertion that those who speak out against Jehovah's Witnesses are throwing the baby out with the Watchtower bathwater. Proponents of pluralism, syncretism and religious tolerance often make this assertion, along with many Jehovah's Witnesses. They say that Jehovah's Witnesses are basically good, yet they are misunderstood because their religion is different and unique. I would agree that Jehovah's Witnesses are misunderstood by some people, but they are not misunderstood in the ways certain people think they are. Actually I think Jehovah's Witnesses are misunderstood primarily from the point of view of Jehovah's Witnesses themselves. Many people and entities in society, including the news media, church leaders, historians, psychologists, sociologists, educational institutions, encyclopedias, magazine editors and various internet websites have a fair understanding of who Jehovah's Witnesses are and what their organization is about. That is one of the reasons why the Governing Body works so hard to restrict Jehovah's Witnesses' access to these sources of information. Steven Hassan said that, because of cult indoctrination and propaganda, cult members often feel that their own group is misunderstood and unjustly persecuted by the world around them (persecution complex). Hassan also pointed out that cult members often know less about their own organization than the average outsider does. Robert J. Lifton and Margaret T. Singer pointed out these same facts. Yes, Jehovah's Witnesses have a very unique way of applying what they believe is true Christianity, and they are misunderstood and considered "strange" or "weird" because they are different from other groups claiming to be Christian. However, it should be noted that even some Christians among the mainstream churches do some of the same things as Jehovah's Witnesses. There are some mainstream Christians who personally choose to avoid politics, military service, tattoos and piercings, causal dating, oral and anal sex, holiday celebrations and birthday celebrations for their own conscience sake. Furthermore, some of those mainstream Christians also engage in door-to-door ministry in ways very similar to Jehovah's Witnesses. Mainstream Christians who practice these things do so entirely by their own free and personal preference in whatever style they wish, without being subject to the powerful forces of undue influence, radical indoctrination and the threat of punishment by an authoritarian, dogmatic religious leader. Being different, weird or misunderstood for a certain condition, practice or belief while exercising one's own free will, thinking ability and individuality is one thing, but being unduly influenced through cult mind control into practicing unusual or even dangerous things is something else entirely. Pluralists and relativists claim that all belief systems, including Jehovah's Witnesses, are equally valid pathways to God and salvation. However, my orthodox Christian faith holds that Jehovah's Witnesses follow a different Jesus, a different Gospel and a different spirit from that which is presented in God's inspired Word the Bible (2 Corinthians 11:4; Galatians 1:6-9; 1 John 4:1-6), thus Jehovah's Witnesses are not a valid pathway to God and salvation. Whether there is a baby in the Watchtower's bathwater or not, I cannot say for absolutely sure, but I certainly know for sure that Jehovah's Witnesses absolutely DO NOT preach nor practice the true biblical Gospel of Jesus Christ that brings true salvation, and the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses is NOT the "spiritual paradise" of good people with all the valid answers to every problem on earth as the Watchtower wants people to believe. Personally, I do believe that a small percentage of the "conscious class" Jehovah's Witnesses are truly saved and born again of the Holy Spirit, but Jesus Christ has saved them in spite of the Watchtower not because of the Watchtower. They have thoroughly read their Bibles in defiance of the Watchtower's prohibition against independent thinking. In connection with this, the Holy Spirit opened their eyes to the truth about Jesus Christ and salvation, and Christ saved them from their sins, which in turn gives them access to the heavenly hope, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and a personal relationship with God. I think this is also the case in other aberrant Christian groups like Roman Catholicism, Mormonism, Seventh Day Adventists, Oneness Pentecostals, the Word of Faith Movement, the Emergent Church and many others. I believe those who are truly born of God's Holy Spirit will eventually find their way out of these false organizations to join the true church of God's people just as I did. God will eventually call them out, and lead them out, of false worship (2 Corinthians 6:14-18; Revelation 18:4).
After having read this testimony, you may think I totally despise Jehovah's Witnesses. However, that is NOT actually the case. I do not think everything about Jehovah's Witnesses is bad or worthless. I do see some good, and every Christian and non-Christian belief system teaches at least some amount of truth. In this testimony, I am criticizing the Watchtower leadership and the organization as a whole. I have nothing against the average Jehovah's Witnesses that are members of the organization and subject the Watchtower leadership's authority. Actually, I think they are victims of the Watchtower leadership through deception, undue influence, inculcated phobias and financial exploitation. What I am exposing is the doctrines, practices and the leaders that construct such doctrines and practices to enforce on the rank-and-file members. Personally, I believe that the average, rank-and-file Jehovah's Witnesses are virtuous and outstanding members of society. Most generally I find them to be very kind, decent, people with clean household and hygiene habits, as well as good social skills and work ethics. In fact, a few of the nicest people I have ever encountered in my life were either Jehovah's Witnesses or non-Jehovah's Witnesses who were raised in Jehovah's Witness families. However, Jehovah's Witnesses are not the goodest and most loving people on earth as the Watchtower Society claims. There are good and loving people outside of the Watchtower organization as well. Jehovah's Witnesses feel that they must be as good as they can possibly, because they are taught that failure to be a morally good person who is also active in the ministry will result in their losing God's favor and the prospect of everlasting life. One thing I can commend Jehovah's Witnesses and their organization for is their door-to-door ministry. I think Jehovah's Witnesses put most Christian churches to shame through their door-to-door ministry. Though going from door to door is not the most effective method of ministry in today's civilization, I still think it can be a valuable asset to any Christian churches that utilize it. The method does indeed win over converts and Jehovah's Witnesses have shown it. I will always remember how well the organization did at teaching me how to navigate through the books, chapters and verses of the Bible, though they do not interpret it correctly through sound exegesis. Many former Jehovah's Witnesses come out of the organization as very effective speakers and entrepreneurs. My own speaking skills were improved by the Theocratic Ministry School. There were between 100 and 150 people in my particular congregation, and roughly 1 in 7 of them were self-employed with their own business; that is, some of them ran their own business as auto mechanics, heating and cooling technicians, electricians, florists, clothing designers, hair stylists, building contractors, cash farmers, private attorneys, dry cleaning and laundromat owners, owners of grocery stores and owners of real estate. In one of the six congregations in my community, roughly 1 in 4 of the JWs were self-employed with their own business. I don't know whether or not this is a valid reason but some of the JW entrepreneurs told me they chose to run their own business because they felt it was another way of keeping themselves separate from the worldly employers of Satan's system of things. This was inspirational to me, so I also began running my own business as auto detailer and car washer for a temporary period while I was in the organization. I did not gain many customers but the business did put a little extra money in my pocket. In addition, I commend the Jehovah's Witnesses for some of their past legal cases. Their record 25 to 50 Supreme Court victories set Constitutional precedents in nearly every area of the Bill of Rights which in turn contributed to greater social and religious freedom for all citizens in the United States. Although I am not against blood transfusions and blood donations, I also commend the organization for its contributing to the expansion of bloodless surgery. I hope the organization will totally lift the ban on blood transfusions soon. So I DO NOT think everything about Jehovah's Witnesses is bad or worthless. I used to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I still love them dearly. The things that I am concerned about include the Watchtower organization's central claim that it is the only true organization of God on earth, that Jehovah's Witnesses are the only group of people who are evangelizing the world about God's salvation through Jesus Christ, that a person must belong to a religious organization in order to be saved, and that a person cannot learn the truth about God and salvation by reading the Bible alone without Watchtower literature. I also hate Watchtower leadership's efforts to conceal the full deity of Jesus Christ by changing the Bible text, and I hate the leadership's efforts to occupy the place of Jesus Christ as Savior and Mediator in the lives of Jehovah's Witnesses instead of helping them to establish a direct and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. What's more, I think the claim that Jehovah's Witnesses are the happiest and healthiest people on earth is an outright fallacy, because a substantial percentage of Jehovah's Witnesses are dissatisfied, unhappy and unhealthy. These negatives are in addition to the Watchtower organization's many false prophecies, false doctrines, mind control, lying about the organization's history, and excessive legalism that has robbed Jehovah's Witnesses of so much freedom, destroyed families and unjustifiably cost many Jehovah's Witnesses their lives. Today, I continue to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with Jehovah's Witnesses and expose the truth about the Watchtower, hoping they will be set free from the Watchtower and become saved through the real Jesus Christ of the Bible.
MY LIFE AFTER THE LEAVING THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
Just like many former Jehovah's Witnesses, I continued keeping tract of the Watchtower doctrine and history even after my exodus from the organization in 2000. Over the years since my exodus, I learned about more inconsistencies and hypocrisies in the Watchtower, including their secret membership with the United Nations (UN) for about 10 years from 1991 to 2001, their owning 50% stock in a military company called Rand Cam Engine, their investing in hedge funds and derivatives with potentially corrupt entities, and their freely permitting blood transfusions for Jehovah's Witnesses in some parts of Europe. Also, the organization's problems of pedophilia, domestic abuse and misogyny (unfair treatment against women) have been catching up with the Watchtower Society in recent years through former JWs, the media and multiple law suits. The organization's disfellowshipping policies have become stricter in recent years, and Jehovah's Witnesses who apostatize are now described as "mentally diseased" by the organization. This is idea of apostates being "mentally diseased" is very insulting to me, given my lifelong battle with autism. If the Watchtower gives harsh and shunning treatment toward people branded as "mentally diseased" apostates, then how would they treat JWs and non-JWs that have a genuine mental disease? It really gets me to wonder how the Watchtower would treat someone having a genuine mental disease, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, PTSD, mood disorders, borderline personality disorder, autism, or mental retardation. How loving or unloving would the organization be toward such people? My own experience in the organization seems to have already given me a hint. Furthermore, the organization originally said that the prospect for the anointing and heavenly hope ended in 1935, but in 2007 the organization said that no one can determine the exact endpoint for the anointing and the heavenly hope. Consequently, the number of "heaven bound," anointed partakers at the annual Memorial has increased every year since 2007. Also, I saw that the doctrine of the generation mentioned by Jesus at Matthew 24:34 has been changed twice since I left in 2000. The most recent change to the doctrine was made in 2010 to mean "overlapping generations"; that is, the 1914 generation overlapping with the current generation. The Watchtower Society, since 2012, has been putting forth greater effort to deify itself as the "Spiritual Mother" of God's people, although the organization had already declared itself as "Spiritual Mother" in 1957. The doctrine of the Faithful and Discreet Slave (Matthew 24:45-47) was changed in October 2012 to include only the members of the Governing Body. The anointed class of 144,000 are no longer considered as part of the Faithful and Discreet Slave, but only as the "other anointed." The Watchtower also changed its appointment doctrine in July 2013 to say that Jesus' appointing the Faithful and Discreet Slave over all of His belongings DID NOT occur in 1919 but will take place during the future Great Tribulation. They now believe that the Watchtower Society was appointed only over Jesus' domestics, not over all of Jesus' belongings. In my opinion, that is the Watchtower Society admitting that Jehovah's Witnesses were NOT truly chosen by Jesus Christ to be the only true religion on earth. I do not know what the Watchtower Society's future will be like, but I do somewhat agree with Dr. James Penton that there will not be any major reforms or sweeping changes within the organization in the near future, since all of the organization's progressive leaders have been replaced with only hardcore conservative leaders.
As one reads through my testimony, they will notice the many red flags I encountered during my association with Jehovah's Witnesses, even during the eight years leading up to my baptism. I repeatedly listened to the counsel of Jehovah's Witnesses to unconditionally trust God's directing the JW organization regardless of what happens. Thus, I chose to shelve all of the red flags into the back of my mind, sometimes experiencing cognitive dissonance in the process. However, all of those red flags, along with my personal research and real Christians sharing God's Word with me, were actually seeds that were sown into my soul. God caused those seeds to sprout, grow and bear fruit in due season as I finally submitted to the reality that the Watchtower Society was not God's sole channel of communication. I personally advise everyone to never ignore red flags about any church or organization whenever they appear, but to quickly take heed instead. Despite my experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses from 1989 to 2000, I don't think I really became saved until some years later. After leaving Jehovah's Witnesses, I thought that any church was just fine for as long as it was not label a "cult" by mainstream Christianity. My friend Quincy eventually became a church pastor who presided over a number of Methodist and Baptist churches, and I joined him in helping the lay people at several of those churches. My paternal grandparents were radical Christians and they had always been avid listeners of Paul Washer, David Wilkerson, and Leonard Ravenhill. Sometimes I joined my grandparents in listening those ministers, but I still saw TBN preachers as better. I thought I would be totally cured of autism by one of the WOF Prosperity Preachers. I was a supporter of TBN televangelists until I discovered that even they were teaching false doctrine, leading people astray, and fleecing their converts of vast amounts of money. I also delved into the theology of the Emergent Church, Liberation Theology, and the New Age Movement for a few year. However, God continued to work in my heart, and He moved me to test and examine these belief systems the same way I tested Jehovah's Witnesses. I carefully researched the history of the Word of Faith Movement, the Emergent Church, the Purpose Driven Movement, and the New Age Movement. I also used the Holy Bible to carefully examine the doctrines and practices of each of these belief systems. More major crises afflicted my life, but in the end, God fully convinced me that historic orthodox Christianity is correct, but liberal Christianity is totally bogus. I felt very saddened and disappointed each time I found out that what I thought was true was not true. Afterward, I began to feel angry and I started blaming myself, wondering why I ever believed those false teachers and their teachings in the first place. Each time I was deceived, I promised never to allow myself to fall into another one of Satan the Deceiver's traps. My guess is that Almighty God allowed me to become part of those other faiths to show me, from firsthand experience, that Satan has other forms of counterfeit Christianity besides Jehovah's Witnesses. God showed me that not every church or organization that claims to be Christian is actually Christian. Counterfeit Christianity, including its false prophets and false teachers, are not only prevalent in cults like Jehovah's Witnesses but also in mainstream Christianity. I made sure to carefully research the history of historic, orthodox Christianity of the Protestant churches and I carefully examined all the fundamental doctrines. I discovered that orthodox Christianity always stands firm like a great mountain of solid rock in the midst of Satan's storms, because Jesus Christ, the head of the Church, is the Rock (Matthew 7:24, 25; 1 Corinthians 3:11; 10:1-4; 1 Peter 2:4-8).
In March 1997, the Watchtower baptized me in the name of the Father, the Son and God's Spirit-directed Organization. This was an idolatrous kind of baptism, because should get baptized only in the name of the Godhead alone. By adding its own name to the baptism, the Watchtower has deified itself to being equal to God, thus converting itself into an idol that many Jehovah's Witnesses are worshiping. It is idolatry whenever baptism is done in the name of someone or something that is not God. However, I was baptized once again at a local Southern Baptist church in January 2010, and this time I was baptized with the correct baptism: in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Almighty God comforted me after I was finally given to the Truth that is in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ alone is the TRUTH, not a specific church, organization, or set of beliefs. I forgave myself, and I forgave those who taught me the false ways, and most of all, God has forgiven me. God showed that I should seek Him for an intimate relationship and so that He can be the leader of my life, not merely to seek a miraculous cure for autism or some other adverse situation. Do not seek Him to avoid going to Hell, but to reconcile with Him and live my life for His glory alone. God is comforting me and giving me strength and spiritual wisdom in coping with autism, plus the ostracism and stigma I experience from a society that misunderstands autistics is not painful, depressing, or unbearable like it was before God revealed His truth to me. Although I did resume my psychotherapeutic counseling for autism after leaving the Watchtower, God's help has improved me so much better than all the help that psychotherapists and secular counselors had given me over many years concerning autism. We must stop hardening our hearts when we read the Bible (Hebrews 3:7, 8). As I mentioned earlier in this testimony, I have struggled with high-functioning autism all my life, and that struggle played a major role in my search for God and the comfort and blessings that only He can provide. I did not receive these high blessings among Jehovah's Witnesses, nor did I receive them from the Word of Faith televangelists, nor did I receive them from the liberal postmodern churches, but I did receive them from the biblical, holy, orthodox Christian faith that all born again, Spirit-filled Christians have come to know. Ever since the moment of my conversion, I have devoted myself to the eternal Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who is none other than God the Son (not an archangel). I have dedicated my life to Christian apologetics in defense of true Christianity. I have learned a great deal from Dr. James R. White (Alpha & Omega Ministries), Matt Slick (CARM.org), Probe Ministries, Watchman Fellowship, Free Minds, HeartCry Missionary Society, Personal Freedom Outreach, Healing X Outreach, and a host of other apologists for the Christian faith. Whenever I cross paths with most former Jehovah's Witnesses I remember from the Kingdom Hall, they do not speak to me. They treat me as though I do not exist, even fourteen years after my disfellowshipping. It hurted my feelings very badly when the shunning first began years ago, because I occasionally attended picnics, Super Bowl parties, restaurant gatherings and other social gatherings with them, but I gradually grew accustomed to the shunning over the years. Though its been fourteen years since I left the Watchtower in 2000, I am still praying for Jehovah's Witnesses everywhere, and I do preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ to them sometimes, especially to those JWs that ignore the Watchtower's strict shunning policy. I still love Jehovah's Witnesses. I totally despise the deceitful and oppressive leaders of the Watchtower, but I still love the average Jehovah's Witnesses that walk to and fro in the streets, because they are just victims of deception, mind control, and spiritual abuse like me when I was a Jehovah's Witness, and I care very much about their eternal soul. Like all other false teachers that come knocking on our doors, Jehovah's Witnesses are a mission field at our doorstep. Jehovah's Witnesses need Jesus Christ for salvation too, and not just Jehovah's Witnesses, but everyone needs to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. Amen.
Originally composed by Norgel Richardson
CONSENT TO REPRODUCE: I, Norgel Richardson, hearby give EVERYONE consent to share or even reproduce the information in my testimony, whether in whole or in part, provided that the information is not altered when it is shared or copied. I want my story to get out into the world to make a difference. As a member of the vast ex-Jehovah's Witness community, I hope that my testimony will help as many people as possible to understand the truth about the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, that it is in fact a cult that deceives, manipulates and exploits Jehovah's Witnesses as well as those who study with Jehovah's Witnesses in hopes of joining the organization.
Posted by Manazir al-Tabi'iyah (الْمَناظر الـطـبـيـعـيـة) ~ Natural Landscapes
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READ MORE ABOUT CULT MIND CONTROL AT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES:
Steven Hassan's B.I.T.E. Model of Mind Control - https://freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php
Warning Signs of a Potentially Unsafe Group - http://www.culteducation.com/warningsigns.html
Understanding Cult Psychology, parts 1-3 - http://www.decision-making-confidence.com/cult-psychology.html
How Cults Work - http://www.cultwatch.com/howcultswork.html
Spiritual Abuse Survey - http://www.wickedshepherds.com/SpiritualAbuseSurvey.html
Are Jehovah's Witnesses a Cult? - http://www.dtl.org/cults/treatise/jws-cult-1.htm and http://www.dtl.org/cults/treatise/jws-cult-2.htm
Jehovah’s Witnesses And Cults: How To Spot Them - http://thewatchtowerfiles.com/destructivecults/
How Cults Manipulate People - http://www.aibi.ph/articles/cultconv.htm
Cognitive Dissonance Theory, Cults, and Mind Control - http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1030659/posts
When Prophecies Fail: A Sociological Perspective on Failed Expectation in the Watchtower Society - http://www.freeminds.org/psych/propfail.htm
YOUTUBE VIDEOS
Signs of Spiritual Abuse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DHx6kXhWww
Real Talk Radio: Spiritual Abuse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqQgehTNDpc
Melissa Dougherty's lecture on Jehovah's Witnesses and Mind Control: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXKzxLoSneA
Brad Zook's 4-Part series on Watchtower Mind Control:
Part 1: Behavior Control - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szHRlEQsPd4
Part 2: Information Control - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn_nctKz-N8
Part 3: Thought Control - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F79B9vJ9Gls
Part 4: Emotion Control - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDhNvX4_Qp4
To learn more about Norgel Richardson's research on the false prophecies, doctrinal inconsistencies, double standards, spiritism and occult connections in the history of Jehovah's Witnesses, feel free to click on the following link:
http://jw-darkhistory89557.blogspot.com/2015/01/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html
To learn more about Norgel Richardson's view of the current status and destiny of the Watchtower Society, feel free to click on the following link:
http://watchtowerdestiny3988.blogspot.com/2015/07/current-status-and-destiny-of.html
